For What Is Worse?
by xTheRedAngelx
Summary: It is James and Lily's fifth year at Hogwarts. As canon goes, James falls in love with Lily but there are several conflicts standing in the way. Work in progress. Other characters include Severus Snape and the Marauders. Contains some fluff.
1. Foreshadowing

30 June 30, 2007

Everybody loves a good Harry Potter fanfic, especially featuring James/Lily. :) This is my first, so I would LOVE some reviews!

Chapter #1: Foreshadowing

The golden, fluttering ball just didn't ever seem to want to stay put. Of course, the Golden Snitch's job _was_ to never stay put—it was meant to keep moving at all times. Still, it was no match for James Potter's strong hands and flexibility as he caught the Snitch over and over again, almost leisurely. It never took him much energy to keep the Snitch from flying farther than a couple feet away.

"When are you going to stop playing with that thing?" Remus Lupin asked, looking over _Quidditch Through the Ages_. He was leaning against a tall oak tree, his forehead and his eyes being the only visible parts of his face. That tree also happened to be shading James, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew. It was a late Friday afternoon, and they had just finished their last class for the day…for the weekend.

Two days to do whatever they wanted. Best of all, tomorrow would be another Hogsmeade trip, and everybody looked forward to that.

"When this little sphere finally manages to get the better of me," James replied, sniggering almost lazily.

"Which will never happen," Peter piped up.

"—Unless some girl comes and distracts ol' Prongs for a second too late," Sirius added.

"Please," Remus said, finally putting down his book and turning to the others. "James has had that Snitch since the beginning of eternity, and girls have been chasing him since the beginning of eternity. Nah…Prongs is—"

"_Whoa_," breathed James. The others turned to look what where he was staring at. His brown eyes were wider than Galleons.

"What are you looking—"

Before Sirius could finish his question, James grabbed him and pointed ahead.

"Do you see what I see, mate?" He said, still breathless as though he'd been running.

"Uh…I have no clue what you're seeing…" Sirius said, uncertainly. "Come off it, just tell us what in Merlin's name you're staring at."

"Who is _she_?"

"She?" Remus automatically turned. "Oh James—you idiot—that's Evans!" James's eyebrow raised in surprise.

"Lily? Lily Evans?" he said. Lily was holding her books and apparently chatting animatedly with her friend Gizelle Peters. There was no mistake about it. The reddish-brown hair, the green eyes, it was all the same. And yet...Lily Evans seemed to have changed as well. She'd seemed to have sprouted over the summer; her hair was wavier and curves had appeared. Her complexion was bronze, not so pale like the last couple of years.

"That's _her_?" Sirius said, incredulously. "Merlin's beard, she looks different!"

Before any of them could say another word, James was heading off towards Lily Evans. And for the first time ever, the Golden Snitch finally escaped from his grasp.


	2. No Response

Chapter #2: No Response

Now I know what some writers mean…I wrote this about ten minutes right after I wrote the first chapter. Once you start writing, you just can't seem to stop.

Chapter #2: No Response

From the corner of her eye, Lily Evans saw a boy walking towards her. Messy black hair, glasses…_who else could it be?_ Lily asked herself. She rolled her eyes and continued chatting with Gizelle.

To Lily, Potter was nothing but an annoying show-off who thought he was cooler than anybody else on the face of this earth. Unfortunately he seemed to have made Lily his prime victim and every year he would not stop teasing her about everything, from her red hair to the robes she wore to Potions class.

But this year would be different, she decided. She would not let him bother her anymore and if he even tried she would curse his face—literally.

"That's not the Potter boy is it?" Gizelle asked her, now looking the same way Lily was a moment ago.

"Yeah, it is," Lily muttered. "No, don't look that way; and maybe he won't bother us."

"Too late…" replied Gizelle.

James Potter had already approached them. He casually flung his hair out of his face and placed his arm around Lily's neck.

"Hey there Evans," he said, trying to sound cool and relaxed. "How was your summer?"

Disgusted, Lily tossed Potter's arm from her, way farther than was necessary. He let out a yelp of pain and rubbed his arm.

"Jeez, what was that for Evans?"

"Don't talk to me," Lily snarled. "See you haven't changed over the summer."

Potter smiled at her. "See you have." His eyes skimmed up and down her body.

"Just shut it, Potter," Lily snapped at him. "C'mon, Gizelle, let's go somewhere else." She grabbed Gizelle's arm desperately and began to walk away. But before they could go any further, Potter ran up to her, blocking her way.

"Get lost," Lily said. She didn't want this boy to have any more say in anything.

"Hey, hey, calm down Evans," Potter said, shocked at the way this beauty was acting. "Just hold on a sec, okay?"

"And what? Listen to your little teasing remarks for another year? No, I don't think so." And Lily took a step forward.

"No—wait—I have something to say. Look, I promise I'll stop teasing you forever on one condition." Potter smiled again, this time in a mischievously cheerful way.

Lily raised her eyebrow. "And what's that, Potter?"

"I promise to stop teasing you forever if you'll go out with me."

"What?" Lily laughed and wouldn't stop. "Forget it, Potter. You're way out of your head."

"No I'm not," replied Potter. "I just happen to know what I want and I'm willing to sacrifice some things for that."

"First of all, I decline. And second of all, you say you'll stop teasing me forever but in the end, to you forever means the end of tomorrow."


	3. The Follower

Chapter #3: The First Follower

Not sure where this is leading, but we'll see how it goes…

Chapter #3: The Follower

James walked back to his group of friends, feeling discouraged but not upset. Evans always acted this way toward him, ever since their first year at Hogwarts. But now that it was their fifth year, he wanted things to be different.

He always had an interest in girls of all kind, but this one seemed to spark him in the forehead. James had always thought of Evans as the girl who he could always tease without shame, for she was headstrong and didn't seem to care what others thought. Especially not him.

James returned to the tree that Peter, Remus, and Sirius were lounging under, their heads bowed and hands over their faces. Obviously, they were chuckling at what they just saw.

"That, my friend," Sirius said, smacking James on the back, "is what I call an epic fail." The rest roared with laughter when James punched Sirius in the arm.

"Don't worry," said Peter, "she'll probably say yes to you sometime or other. I mean, every other witch in this school would die to be in her place."

"Yeah…" James said absentmindedly. But somehow or other, he figured this girl would be different than the others and not so easy to obtain.

Sirius had just finished naming James' attempt an "epic fail," laughing with the rest. But inside, his thoughts were complete confusion.

When Sirius had seen Lily Evans a moment ago, it was shock at first. Had that small lanky girl with no boobs really transformed into this wondrous woman of red hair and curvy hips? Even he himself wished he wouldn't think such things; in their younger years he had often thought Lily as a sort of clumsy potion brewer of a witch. Always mixing something in her cauldron, she never needed a textbook to create anything—a genius by all means. Just the instructions, her ingredients, and her cauldron: that's all she needed.

But now…now was different. Lily was different. And Sirius had suddenly changed as well.

James had always been Sirius's first mate; or rather, it was the other way. Sirius had always been James' first mate, right-hand man. He supported everything James did, no matter what it was. His years at Hogwarts consisted of so many memories, all shared with James…

_How they had almost gotten expelled in their first year for lighting a teacher on fire…_

_How they had both spent their second year trying to kill Mrs. Norris, Filch's cat and then both wounded up in detention…_

_How they had taken time in their third year to come up with plans for their monthly outings with Peter and Remus, turning into Animagi…_

_How they had stolen food from the kitchen underneath James' Invisibility Cloak their fourth year…_

James was Sirius's brother. They were always together and never let the other down. So why was it that now Sirius felt like his mortal enemy?

But secretly, inside, he knew.

That uncomfortable, squirming feeling he experienced when he saw Lily just moments ago confirmed it.

And now an internal battle seemed to be taking place within Sirius. His desire versus his right mind: two opposing forces like fire and ice fighting against each other, never ending.

_That's James' witch, you know you can't have her._

_Who said I wanted her at all?_

_You know you do. And you also know you can't. _

_Who says I can't? Wait—who said she was James' witch in the first place? She's_

nobody's _witch…which makes it even more appropriate for me._

_No it does not! James is your best mate!_

_Exactly, he'll understand perfectly._

_If he does, that makes it all the more worse for you to even think about it!_

_Lily...Lily Evans…how could she have become so beautiful in the course of three_

_months?_

_Stop that! Stop that, I tell you. You have NO right to think those thoughts._

_Neither does James._

_That's none of your business._

_Lily Evans…_

In the end, Sirius convinced himself that these thoughts were harmless, that they were just normal wishes of getting a girl himself for once, not necessarily Lily. He promised that he would stop thinking about her, that he would think of any other witch but her. After all, James had liked, perhaps even loved, Lily for all these years even if he hadn't admitted it. And now James was showing his feelings more than ever. And Sirius honestly didn't want to interfere with that either.

Still, he glanced one more time towards the direction in which Lily and her friend were walking away. And he couldn't help but see the way her dark red hair rippled in the wind, so bright under the sunlight. And in an instant, Sirius wished so badly to hold the person who owned that beautiful mane, to bury his face in those strands.


	4. The Protector

For those of you who asked me to update soon, here it is

For those of you who asked me to update soon, here it is. :) As you will find out after this next chapter, things will get _pretty_ twisted…and thanks for the comments! More reviews would be great; please let me know if I should continue or if this really isn't leading anywhere…

**Chapter #4: The Protector**

Severus could see right through those four wizards, the ones who call themselves the Mauraders. He could recall the first time he had met them, in his first year, and since then he was sure they were never up to anything good.

_"Professor Slughorn!" a small redheaded witch cried, running towards a fat toad of a teacher. "Professor Slughorn, I've finished my potion!" She pointed eagerly at her cauldron, which was bubbling a thick peach-colored liquid. The toad that she called Professor Slughorn hitched up his trousers and straightened his robes as he walked towards her. _

_"My, my," He exclaimed, peering into her cauldron, "You did it again, Lily Evans! An impeccable Boil-Cure Potion…couldn't have brewed it better myself." The girl called Lily beamed and thanked him._

_Professor Slughorn looked up and announced to his first-year Potions class, "Time is nearly up! Please send approximately ten milliliters of your potion to the front of my desk and I will grade them momentarily." He turned back to Lily Evans and murmured in her ear, loud enough for those nearby to eavesdrop, "Ms. Evans, why don't you attend one of my Slug Club meetings this afternoon, 3 o'clock?"_

_It was common knowledge that only those whom Professor Slughorn thought would become great witches and wizards got to be in his special Slug Club._

_Lily smiled and accepted, thanking her professor for the invite. He stood up, patted her on the head and returned to his desk triumphantly, getting ready to grade the full beakers swarming up to him. _

_Lily had just returned to her seat when a black-haired boy with glasses sitting two desks away called out to her, "Check that out—Evans got in the Slug Club, just like that! What are you, a genius or something?"_

_The redhead girl shot her eyes at the boy. "No…I just happen to be really interested in Potions, that's all."_

_"Well, you know what? I'm interested in those who are interested in Potions…" James Potter grinned at his fellow mates beside him. _

_Taken aback, Lily didn't know how to react. "Uh…I don't believe I know who you are. So how can you be interested in me?"_

_"Well…if you look at what I see…" James' chuckling prohibited him from going any further. _

_Severus Snape, who was sitting beside Lily, stood up. "Hey!" he yelled at James and his gang. "Shut up, go away, and leave her alone." Lily turned and gave him a look that clearly said, _No, don't Severus, you'll make things worse. _But he stared back at James, willing for him to obey what he said._

_The bell rang for class to be dismissed._

_James raised an eyebrow. "I don't believe you can tell anybody what to do here, Snake."_

_"That's not his name…don't call him that!" Lily told him defensively. "It's Severus Snape!"_

_"Oh," said James, "and I thought it was Snivellus. But of course I wouldn't want to call him that either…"_

_"You're nothing but a blob!" Lily cried. "A big, hairy blob with four eyes!"_

_Rather than feeling upset, James looked rather amused. "I appreciate the compliment, Carrot," he replied, eyeing her dark red hair. "Actually you're more of a tomato." Severus let out a noise between a rasp and a roar. He whipped his wand out/_

_"Ouch…that was a bad one, Prongs," the boy behind James, Sirius, said._

_"Hey, hey, no fighting here!" Professor Slughorn had finally turned his attention to the back of the room, his hands full of beakers. "If you want to start something, take it outside! Not in this classroom, not while I'm here!" He saw that Lily was in the middle of this chaos and added, "And whatever you're arguing about, leave Ms. Evans out of it."_

_Professor Slughorn quickly hustled Lily out of the room while scolding that she should avoid trouble with such young rascals. Then, he kicked Severus, James, and his three friends out of the room as well. Lily had already left the scene, but Severus turned to James quickly and whispered dangerously to him, "I'm warning you, Potter, you and your little stooges stay away from Lily. And stay away from me. We've got nothing to do with you."_

_"You got it, slimeball, wouldn't want to be near you anyway," Sirius told him, folding his arms._

_And with that, Severus swished his cloak and ran to catch up with Lily. _

_"Sheesh…bit touchy, aren't they?" James said, before the Mauraders turned and walked in the opposite direction._

Severus opened his eyes. He was sitting in the Slytherin common room where he was before he had fallen through that state of reminiscence. He could still hear Sirius's voice as he uttered the words "_You got it, slimeball."_ Just those four words were enough to make Severus's breathing heavier, his hand crush the green and silver bedspread underneath him.

He remembered so clearly when, later on that day, he had promised Lily he would protect her from those boys.

_"They're nothing but trouble,"_ he had said. "But _I'll keep you safe. Just stick around me for a while, in case they come looking for you again. They don't bother me with their little statements, but I don't want you to get hurt."_

And Lily had replied back, _"Thanks, Sev, but I don't know if I can stand being around your friends…they're a little creepy."_

"_They're not creepy, they're just interested in the same things I am. That's how you make friends,"_ Severus told her. "_But I promise, I'll always be your best friend."_

I'll always be your best friend. Severus had said it then, and he had meant it. And he still meant it now more than ever. Right before he recalled that day in his first year, Severus overheard the confrontation between James and Lily down below in the courtyard. He decided not to rescue her this time; she was a grown girl now, she could defend herself. Over the years, Lily had become an emotionally strong witch, one of the reasons he admired her so much. But still, Severus had that promise to keep. And he would keep it. He would get James and his little Marauder friends back later.


	5. Confrontations

I honestly don't know where this is going

I'm still not sure where this is going to lead…I am just pouring words out of my mind, making things up as I go along. Not exactly what my usual style is (which is to know the end at the beginning) but maybe it will turn out for the better…even if it does become a little _twisted…_

NOTE: I may take a break from writing the next chapter for a day or two. It's been only two days since I started writing this particular fanfiction story and I'm already on Chapter 5, so I'd like to take a break and maybe eat and drink for once. :P

**Chapter #5: Confrontations**

James could sense something different in Lily; it was besides the way she looked and carried herself. She acted differently towards _him._ Throughout the day, he eyed her carefully, trying to find a way to approach the girl without making her think he was going to automatically call her _Tomato_. But for once, James didn't want to tease her. He didn't want to purposely make her angry and then laugh at her responses.

He wanted to talk to her, to be able to get to know her. For the first time, James wondered where she got her Potions talent and which of her parents had given her red hair. Lily was Muggle-born and therefore it was unusual that she had such a knack of mixing substances into the exact correct form. For the first time ever, he wanted to get closer to her.

But Lily didn't seem to want to get anywhere near James. Every time he had called out "Hey Lily!" as friendly as he could while luckily passing her by the Charms room or seeing her walk down Staircase #56, she always glared at him before disappearing into the large crowd of witches and wizards. It was as if she was telling James that she was doing him a favor by avoiding him, as if she was warning him that if he kept pursuing her, she would curse him, and that it was better to leave her alone.

James and Remus were playing Wizard's Chess in the Great Hall after an early dinner, with Sirius and Peter on either side of them. James was sweating, for he was about to lose to Lupin's unbeatable Queen once again for the third time in a row.

"Damn you, Queen! Why don't you just die?" James yelled at the movable black figure, which folded her arms and made a "Humph!" noise before knocking his pawn out of the way.

"You have…_the _cruelest…figures in your Chess set," James said, glaring at Remus as if it was all his fault.

"Hey, don't look at me, I got this for my birthday from my grandparents," Remus reminded him. At the same time, he hid a grin behind his small moustache.

It was then that James saw Lily walking by with a couple of friends, the book _One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi_ clutched in her hands. Suddenly, he dropped the knight he was about to move on the board and told his friends, "See you later, got some unfinished business to attend," and left the table to catch up with Lily. As James approached them, he caught small bits and pieces of a broken conversation.

"Maybe a love potion would work—"

"—No way, that'd be way too weird…"

"Why not? It's a good potion to use and not too hard—"

"Hey Lily."

The two witches and wizard turned around. Lily was with Gwen Garish and Simon Fry, two fifth years whom she often paired up with in their Transfiguration class. Gwen saw that it was James and immediately started giggling.

"Hey there James, what's going on?" she said, waving shyly at him.

"Hi, Gwen," James said, though in no special way; he was used to this sort of treatment. He turned his attention to Lily, who had suddenly stiffened.

"Lily, what's up?" he tried to say nicely, but she almost instantly snapped, "Why do you keep following me around, Potter? And when were we _ever_ on first-name terms, anyway? I liked our old routine from before, you know, why did you change it, eh?"

Taken aback by this sudden response, James said, "Well with teachers you usually say 'Professor…' and then their last name; it's a sign of respect. With regular students—"

"Oh don't give me that bullcrap," Lily told him. "You think you're so cool with that stupid Snitch and your stupid comments, but you're really nothing better than any of us. Stop bothering me, Potter, or I swear I will hex you to pieces." She moved forward to carry on with Gwen and Simon, but James wasn't going to give up so easily, not when he had her right there.

"No, hold on," said James, once again blocking her way. "Just…c'mon, Lily—why don't we go to Hogsmeade together tomorrow? We can get to know each other better…"

"Go to Hogsmeade with you? I'd rather eat a hippogriff," Lily cried, laughing as though not believing he actually asked a question with such an obvious answer. "Save it, Potter, I'm not going out with you, nor will I ever."

And before James could say any further, she had hit him with her Potions book and disappeared once again with her friends; he only caught the last few words of Gwen Garish as they left.

"…Why are you so mean to him, Lil'? He's really not that bad of a guy, and super cute too—!"

Grumbling to himself, James stomped his way back towards the table, where his friends were watching, amused.

"Why is it that I always get the _wrong_ girls to like me?" he asked himself softly, but out loud.

"You don't, you just always seem to like the wrong girls," said a voice behind him, a snarling, evil, hungry male's voice. But it was not a voice James didn't recognize.

One moment, Sirius was watching James make yet another attempt to talk to Lily and was feeling an angry swoop in his stomach that made him want to punch James. The next moment, he was watching Severus Snape do that action for him.

"Hey!" he heard Remus call out. "Cut that out, Snape, leave James alone!"

Severus looked menacingly at Remus while holding James' hands behind his back. "'Course I won't leave him alone, you retard, not when he won't leave _us_ alone." He swiped at James' head again. Remus was making his way to them, his wand already drawn out.

But James was quicker. His wrist slid out of Severus's grasp and automatically lunged into his robes. In seconds, he had his captor's wand.

"Four against one, you're dead Snivellus," Sirius found himself saying, with his own wand out now. Although he still felt resentful towards James, their loathing for Severus was strongly united as always.

"Go ahead, hex me," Severus said quietly. "I don't care, but I warn you not to bother Lily Evans every year and still you pay me no mind."

"So, what, you're here to threaten me for what you call 'bothering' her?"

"I saw you this morning, trying to ask her out. She said no and you're still trying to pursue her. Why can't you just get it into your puny little mind that Lily doesn't like nor want you?"

James raised an eyebrow. "What are you, her guardian angel or something? Lily's grown up, she can take care of herself. She doesn't need you to defend her for anything; and quite frankly, in any other person's point of view, I think she's been doing pretty good trying to keep me off her tail."

"Yes…she has grown up," Severus said quietly, almost as if to himself, then regained his position. He opened his arms wide and continued, "Well Potter, Lupin, Black, Pettigrew, go ahead and curse me. Shoot at me with the best hexes you've got; I know it'll be fun for you. As long as you promise me you won't cause Lily any more trouble ever again, you can do anything you want. I won't stop you."

"You're crazy, Snake," Peter told him. Remus murmured in agreement. James laughed at Severus and said, "Go back to your dormitory, Snivellus. Game's over."

"I am serious, Potter."

"Are you really willing to do anything for me to leave Lily alone?"

"Yes," Severus told him firmly.

Remus walked to James and ushered him to walk away. Sirius and Peter followed them, the first of the two using magic to pack up the Wizard's Chess set and make it soar above him. James looked at Severus lividly in the eyes, threw him back his wand, and turned to walk away with the rest. And then…

"Not so fast, Potter—" But before Severus could utter a single spell, James and Sirius had both turned around quickly and shouted, "_Expelliarmus!"_ holding their wands out tightly.

Severus immediately shot backwards and was instantly unconscious as his head hit the Gryffindor house table.

That night, Sirius and James both had detention in the Charms room with Argus Filch. Earlier that day a first year student had accidentally sent bluebirds shooting out from his wand and there had been such a commotion trying to send the birds free from the castle. As a result, blue and white feathers were everywhere; the boys' assignment was to pick up as many as they could until Filch was tired enough to let them go.

"Well, at least we can still go to Hogsmeade tomorrow," James said, cheerfully summoning feathers from the floor and throwing them into the dustbin.

"Mm…" Sirius replied absentmindedly. As James told his best friend different schemes he had thought up of to win Lily's admiration, the latter was thinking on a different line.

Sirius was remembering how Severus Snape had confessed overhearing James and Lily in the courtyard and how he accused James of "not leaving _us_ alone." He recalled the way Severus had so willingly given himself up to curses and hexes to protect Lily and that strange, even scary, gleam in his eyes when he said Lily's name. And Sirius wondered if this was something to be concerned about, if Severus seemed to think of Lily more than a friend, maybe even more than a sister.

And Sirius began to wonder something else. Inside, his own heart was aching, his mind confused and not knowing what to do. For what is worse—knowing your enemy wanted the one you loved or that your best friend wanted her?


	6. Owlery

As you read in this chapter, Lily and Sirius meet spontaneously in the Owlery

Personally, I don't think this chapter is as good as the others, probably because I took a few days' break…please R&R telling me what you think. As you read in this chapter, Lily and Sirius meet spontaneously in the Owlery. To those who have read Harry Potter, what does this remind you of? ;)

**Chapter #6: Owlery**

The next morning, Lily Evans woke up before dawn. When this happened, it was either because when she had had an excellent sleep that previous night or because she couldn't sleep at all. On this specific day, it was because of the latter. Things had been troubling her lately, things that involved Severus Snape.

Lily knew that her best friend was an oddball, an outcast. Nobody outside of Slytherin talked to Severus, not really. And even those in his own House would only talk to him if they had to or if they had nothing better to do. He only had his small group of Slytherin _friends,_ or whom he called his friends. She knew them as Crabbe, Bulstrode, Severus Snape and Malfoy—she only knew the other three's surnames because though she never talked to them, teachers always called students by their last names. To Lily, these friends didn't seem like real friends; they seemed like people who only spent time with Severus because of his interests and certain talents. And she knew what they liked about him—his passion for the Dark Arts.

When they had been little, Lily and Severus were indeed best friends. And they still were—though not in the same exact sense. Lily had told herself distance away from Severus; not because of him, but because of his friends who seemed so queer, so dangerous—even for Slytherins. She knew the Slytherin House was known to bring up those who transformed into criminals and Dark wizards years afterward.

In their earlier years at Hogwarts, Lily had often tried to persuade Severus to stop hanging out with that kind of crowd. And at first, Severus paid attention to her but did not listen. Then, he got annoyed after her warnings had become consistent and her lectures were daily. He became angry one day, when the 200th "I dunno, they seem really bad, Sev…" was the last straw.

"_SHUT UP!" Severus shouted to Lily. And for the first time since they had known each other, Lily saw fire in his eyes. She could see flames bursting in those black pupils, looking like Hell itself. And she became frightened._

"_I—I'm sorry, Sev…" Lily said tearfully in a small voice. "I just want to make sure you'll be okay. I don't want anything bad happening to you…" She buried her face in her hands and began crying, angry at her own self for making her friend upset._

_And Severus' eyes softened, those flames dimming. And soon they became those watery beetle black eyes once again. He awkwardly put his arm around Lily. _

"_I know Lil'," he said, "I'm sorry I shouted. But they are the only ones I've got, you know. I have no other friends." Lily looked up, upset at him now. _

"_You've got me! You've always got me." she reminded him shrilly. Severus laughed. _

"_And you think I'd be able to fit in with you and Gizelle and Gwen and Simon, eh? Really now." At the thought of her talkative and naïve friends bonding with shy and quiet Severus, Lily giggled._

"_Nah, didn't think so." Severus's smile looked more like a thin line across his white face. "Listen, don't worry about me. I'll be fine, okay? And…and I have to do something for myself for once." He bowed his head, and then continued, "What I'm worried about is you, Lily. You keep yourself away from that Potter boy and his stooges. I can't stand seeing them teasing and making fun of you like that."_

_Lily hugged Severus even tighter. "You're a good friend, Sev. And I don't care about Potter…he's stupid anyway. If he keeps bothering me I'll hex him with those Jelly Legs you taught me last week."_

Just then, Lily's mind was cleared of those memories as she caught sight of her usually gold and clear Remembrall, which was now smoking a temporary blood-red fog inside. This had been a present from Gwen two Christmases ago and since then she'd always kept it on her bedside table. Lily didn't have a bad memory, but she didn't get many magical presents at Christmas (as her whole family consisted of Muggles) and cherished the ones she did.

Presently, Lily picked up the Remembrall—and she remembered. Last night, she had just finished an article for the **Daily Prophet** about The Top 10 Most Effective Antidotes, an extra credit assignment for Professor Slughorn, and needed to send it off today—_this morning_.

Lily jumped out of bed. As quietly and quickly as possible she threw red Gryffindor shower robes around her pajamas, put her slippers on, and dashed off to the Owlery with the folded article in her hand.

It was cold in the still-quiet corridors. Lily pulled her robes tighter and hurried up the long staircase to the Owlery, which was a lot warmer. She loved the Owlery, though she seldom went there. Because she didn't have an owl of her own, she usually had to use a school owl for sending mail. Lily often dreamt of having her own snowy owl (as they seemed to be the most elegant and beautiful species to her) and naming it Santo Salvatore De Luca, St. Lucy for short; Mr. and Mrs. Evans had _had_ promised to buy her an owl during her second year, but as her sister Petunia complained she wouldn't be able to sleep during the summer because of "an oversized bat" in the house, Mrs. Evans soon changed her mind.

Presently, Lily was attaching her article lovingly to a brown barn owl, wondering if the Daily Prophet would actually think about publishing it. Suddenly, she saw a tall, dark figure moving toward her way; instantaneously she pulled her wand out and turned around and shouted "Stop!"

"Wow—hey there—a little too fast with that, aren't you?" came a voice she knew but seldom heard.

Sirius Black had emerged from the morning shadows. He was still dressed in his

pajamas, striped black and green.

"Did you follow me from the dorm?" Lily asked incredulously. Was this it? Was this Potter's plan—to send his little faithful dogs to come watch what she's been doing, to memorize her schedule so he'd take every attempt to try and ask her out?

"What? No!" Sirius looked at her as if she was crazy.

"Okay then, why are you here?" She placed her hands on her hips, ignoring the

barn owl that was impatiently nipping at her robes, ready to take flight. "And," she added with raised eyebrows, "why on earth are you wearing Slytherin robes?"

"They're the only ones I have, my mum won't give me any others," Sirius told her, quite unabashed. "And I haven't any money to buy me some Gryffindor ones."

Lily's look softened; she knew this was true, because of all those whispers of other students that Sirius Black was the only one in his family who ended up in Gryffindor, and that his other relatives had all belonged to Slytherin—something that hardly ever happened.

"And I _wasn't_ following you around," Sirius added defiantly. "I usually come up here to watch…well, watch the sun rise." He finished with those last words fading, as if he regretted opening his mouth at all.

Lily stifled a snort; Sirius Black liked to watch the sun rise?

"Hey, man, you can laugh all you want, but _I_ like watching the sun rise. Dunno what you do in your spare time except boil potions up." Sirius shrugged.

"I watch the sun rise too, if I wake up early," Lily informed him, "but I usually stay in the dorm."

Sirius looked at her as if to say _Why on earth am I talking to you, and about_

_sunrise?_ but instead asked, "then why are you here now?"

"I'm sending an article to the Daily Prophet, if you must know," Lily told him. "Extra credit for Slughorn."

There was awkward silence for a while, and then Sirius blurted out, "So are you going to Hogsmeade today?"

For a moment, Lily looked angry. "What kind of question is that? Who doesn't go? And why are you asking me—are you doing this for Potter?"

"What? No!" Sirius said again. "I was just…just wondering." Lily looked at him with disbelief and said nothing else. Instead she let the barn owl fly out and looked out the window.

"Oh, look…the sun's up."

"It is?" Sirius stuck his head out. Indeed, a piercing ball of gold had peeked its way out, now fully developed above the horizon.

"Damn, I missed it. I guess it rose while we were talking." Sirius rumpled his hair in a way very similar to James Potter. "Ah well, there's always tomorrow."

"Yeah…well, I guess I'd better go down to breakfast and get the best of the food first," Lily said. She made her way towards the Owlery door.

"Okay." Sirius waved at her. "See you around, I guess, maybe at Hogsmeade."

"Yeah. Maybe." And Lily left without another word, closing the door behind her. She walked down the steps and headed to the Great Hall, still wondering what on earth had just happened.

On the other side of the door, Sirius Black was still standing by the window with his hands in his pockets. He whistled the tune to _Sinful Tragedies _by the Bamboo Ghouls and looked back out the window, at the gleaming sun. And somehow, for once, Sirius did not regret missing the sun rise.


	7. Hogsmeade Events

And THIS is where James gets his first big break

And THIS is where James gets his first big break…

Note: It is confirmed that Hogwarts students do _walk_ to Hogsmeade during those specified weekends. :) And _The Practical Potioneer_ is a known Wizarding magazine. The Wizarding radio does exist, but I made up the title 'WizNet.' And Lily's parents' names are unknown; I made 'Shannon' up as well.

Another Note: My apologies for getting this chapter out so late; I had writer's block for quite some time, but I managed to tackle it. Hopefully this chapter isn't deteriorating for you all.

**Chapter #7: Hogsmeade Events**

After breakfast, all the students, third-year and older, began crowding around the entrance gates of Hogwarts, excited and ready to leave for the Hogsmeade trip. Sirius was with Remus, Peter, and James, the latter secretly fingering the Golden Snitch in his left hand. (Luckily, Remus had chased after it the day James had absentmindedly released it and managed to catch it.)

James had pretty much given up on asking Lily Evans out and was now content with the idea of being extra nice to her from now on. Perhaps, in time, she would decide to talk to him again—maybe even become his friend.

Secretly, Sirius was rejoicing inside. He hoped this was a sign that he was being given silent permission to make a move on Lily. He wondered if today would make any difference in the relationship between him and her…

_Be quiet, Sirius, you aren't IN a relationship…_

_I could be if you would just shut up—_

Just then he saw a glimpse of red hair a few feet away. Sure enough, it was Lily, looking as spunky as ever, talking to Gwen about the newest copy of _The Practical Potioneer_ which she happened to be holding in her hands. Without thinking, Sirius began walking towards her. And it wasn't until he bumped into James on his right side that he realized his best friend was going for Lily Evans too.

James Potter was eager to talk to Lily this time; he hoped that he could get a good conversation going before she misinterpreted his approach. He noticed that Sirius was by his side and wondered why. But before he could say a word to him or Lily, one other person took a step forward and spoke first.

"Well, if it isn't the potion-brewer," Lucius Malfoy sneered nastily. Lily looked up at him. Like most of the Slytherins, Lucius was a bully towards anyone who wasn't in his own House—and was proud of it.

"Hello, Lucius," she said coldly. "Is there anything you want from me? If not, you might as well go away because I'm not going to take any crap from you today."

"Oh, I see that Ms. Tomato seems a little huffy."

"Actually, I'm in a good mood. And I'm determined for you not to break it for me today. Why don't you just go back to your little friends there?" She pointed to the unpleasant batch of Slytherins a few feet away.

"…don't call her that!" James cried, taking his chance too late. Lily had only just spotted James, and then Sirius; she seemed thoroughly surprised that they were there.

"Ah, James Potter. The Gryffindor Seeker." Lucius skimmed James over, looking at him as if he was scum. He spotted the Snitch. "Still carrying that thing around, are you? I'm surprised you haven't married it by now."

"Well _haha_," James said sarcastically, clapping his hands. "Wonderful joke,

Lucius, your best one yet."

"No, not quite." Lucius looked at James face-to-face, nothing but clean, meaningless hatred in his eyes. "You might want to comb your hair, Potter. It looks like dirt from this side."

Sirius took a step forward. "You watch your mouth, Malfoy, or I'd be happy to shut it for you!" His knuckles flexed.

The gates finally opened and everybody was now walking forward, heading for Hogsmeade at last, this being the first trip of the year.

Lily looked between James, Sirius, and Lucius and sensed the danger. Students nearby were all watching, wondering if a fight would begin.

"Okay, well if that's all, I think I'm gonna make my way now." She began taking a few steps forward, determined not to get into this Gryffindor-vs.-Slytherin mess.

"Good plan, Lil,'" Gwen whispered and made to follow her.

"Hold on, Mudblood—let me see that, will you?" Lucius said in his pleasantly evil voice. In less than a second he had whipped his hand in front of Lily and swiped her copy of _The Practical Potioneer_.

"Hey!" Lily cried angrily. "Give that back, Malfoy!"

"Or what, you'll get your Muggle folks to take a rabbit out of the hat to chase after me?" Lucius laughed coldly. "I don't think so. Just going to have a look at this, if you please."

"Give the magazine back, Malfoy," James said, his eyes narrowing. "Nobody has the right to take anything from anyone else. Not even you."

"Have it your way then, Potter." Lucius turned to Lily and added, "You can blame Potter for what's going to happen to your precious magazine."

And before anyone else could say anything, Lucius Malfoy shouted "_Diffindo_!" Pages from _The Practical Potioneer_ began tearing and falling slowly to the ground.

"_No!"_ Lily cried, horrified. Lucius stopped and laughed, then dropped the remains of the book. He ran off, his long blonde hair flying.

"You son of a bitch. _Expelliarmus!"_ James yelled, his wand in hand, and Lucius Malfoy was blasted off his feet. Students were screaming. Sirius, Remus and Peter were shouting at James to stop. Gwen was pulling on Lily's robes, begging her to please leave now. Lily was desperately trying to fix her magazine, crying "_Reparo!"_ to reseal the damaged pages back together.

"_AARGHH!"_ Lucius roared. And then James heard Professor Flitwick's voice squealing shrilly.

"Stop that now—STOP THAT! _For heaven's sake,_ is this a school or not?!"

In the end, both James and Lucius ended up with detention at Filch's quarters for the night. Witnesses from every side had rushed to tell Professor Flitwick all sorts of rumors about who started what and why.

"At least I still get to go to Hogsmeade today," James told Lily, still cheerful-looking even after the what-were-you-two-boys-thinking? lecture from the Charms teacher. They were walking with whoever else had stayed back to watch the fight to Hogsmeade and were nearly there. Remus, Peter and Sirius were a few meters away, watching the pair closely with silent chuckles upon their lips. Apparently Gwen had disappeared in the crowd, leaving Lily to hold the restored magazine in her hands and walk with James.

"Yep, you are one lucky wizard, Potter."

James looked at Lily in surprise; this was such a common statement, yet from Lily it was the nicest thing ever.

"Um, thank you…" he said, not sure what else to say. And then, it was as if Lily had just realized who she was talking to. She quickly looked away and began walking faster ahead, saying over her shoulder, "Well, I better find Gwen again. See you."

"Hang on—" James said, catching up with her. His heart was beating fast; he wasn't sure what he was doing. And, unexpectedly, Lily waited for him.

"Why don't…why don't we go down to Hogsmeade together?" He asked her quite nervously, something he rarely felt. You know…catch a butterbeer and look at the shops and stuff."

Somehow, Lily looked surprised at James' suggestion. She raised her eyebrow and, somewhere, James saw the hint of a smile.

"Why? You think just because you saved my magazine you get to go out with me?"

James smiled and shrugged. "Well, I did get detention for it."

"Detention means nothing to you. You get detention all the time."

"Well, you do owe me now, no matter what." James grinned even wider. "I mean, you don't want everyone—especially not Slughorn—to know you're in debt to James Potter."

For the first time, Lily laughed, a clear sound that seemed to vibrate through James' ears and echo five times more afterward.

"Fair enough; I guess I do need to thank you…although you didn't do much except curse Malfoy when he deserved it."

"And saved your book."

"Magazine."

"Whatever."

"I repaired it, anyhow."

"Good for you. Now where's my thank you?"

Lily sighed. "_Thank_ you, James Potter," she said in a mocking voice, "for the return of my magazine and for getting revenge on Lucius Malfoy. I owe it _all_ to you."

"Never thought the day would come when Lily Evans would say thank you to me." James thought out loud, shaking his head.

"Well it has. Are you happy now?"

"Not quite."

"You are hard to please, Potter."

"No I'm not, I just know what I want and I'm willing to get it."

And, just like this, Lily and James walked the rest of the way to Hogsmeade, arguing about silly nonsense of all sorts. James himself could hardly believe he was having a conversation with her. _If this Malfoy incident results in me getting the girl, I'll sweep his slimy shoes for a month!_ He thought.

They arrived in the village of Hogsmeade minutes later, James in high spirits. The streets were crowded, sprinkled with Hogwarts students, and shops were decorated for Halloween, which was only a week away.

"Well, where shall we go?" James offered.

"Hey, this was your idea, not mine."

"Okay, fine, how about _Three Broomsticks_?" Lily nodded. James smiled triumphantly to himself and began to lead the way, but not before Lily pulled him back again.

"I'm not strolling with you the whole time, Potter," she warned him. "This is a one time thing, in case you haven't gotten it in your head."

James hesitated, and then replied lightly, "Oh—I know…"

They began their route to _Three Broomsticks,_ where James hoped to buy her a butterbeer…and perhaps change her mind about the last statement she said.

It wasn't easy shaking the rest of the Marauders off his tail. Remus, Peter and Sirius seemed keen on watching James' progress, always pretending to be looking at other things when he looked back and saw them. It took several attempts and then with a final "_Buddies_! Why don't you three head on to the Hog's Head? I heard they've got a new flavor of gillywater…" they got the hint and skived off. It was really Remus who was decent enough to grab the necks of their robes, and it was Sirius who was the most reluctant to leave.

Presently, James and Lily were sipping butterbeer at a table in a corner within the _Three Broomsticks._ A highly popular pub, it was packed full of customers even more than usual today. All sorts of wizards, witches, and creatures were sitting at the bar and other tables: some arguing wizards' politics, some playing Gobstones or Wizard's Chess, others listening to the WizNet radio, and still others just plain drinking for pleasure.

"Hmm…tell me something interesting, Lily."

"Like what, Potter?"

"Anything. Surprise me." James smiled at her and took a long swig of his butterbeer. Lily hesitated and seemed to be thinking. Then…

"I actually really like Blood pops." They both laughed. Indeed, James was surprised by this answer and only slightly disgusted.

"Oh, really? Well, umm…guess what: I can't feel my pinky."

"What? Really? Why?"

"Dunno…some sort of numbing spell my dad accidentally struck on me when I was three months old."

"Nice. You know what else? When I was little I used to think my hair was on fire. Beat that macho-man."

James cracked up. "Wow. That's funny. Real smooth, Lily."

Lily raised an eyebrow. James could've sworn it disappeared under her fiery bangs. "What's with this usage of 'Lily'?"

James looked questioningly at her. "Well…it's your name."

"Well Evans is my last name too…"

"You'd rather I call you 'Evans'?"

"Why not? You used to before."

"Thanks, but I'm sticking to Lily. Why were you named after a flower, anyway?"

Lily took a bite of the Ginger Newt she had purchased earlier before answering. "You know, my sister's name is Petunia. My mom has a common name, Shannon; she told us one time how much she loved nature, especially flowers. She said we were like the blossoms that bloomed into her life when we were born."

James had just guzzled down some butterbeer when it nearly choked him through laughter. "_Blo—blossoms?_ That's sweet, Lily, real sweet."

"Oh Potter, be quiet—she's a poet," said Lily, slapping his arm. "Well, at least I have a more original name, _James_."

"The flower Lily states the Marauder's first name," James said, gasping in mock surprise.

"Not funny," Lily told him. Then, more curiously, "why are you called the Marauders, anyway?" It wasn't necessary for her to elaborate on who she was talking about, for only one group of students at Hogwarts called themselves the Mauraders.

James hesitated. "Oh…er, it's just something us three chaps thought of one day. Just a stupid nickname."

"Uh huh…" Lily said, becoming disinterested. She nibbled down the rest of her Ginger Newt and patted her hands on a napkin.

There was a short, slightly awkward silence. James stretched with a yawn and looked out the window. Then, he thought of something strange.

"Hey—where's your little friend, the Snivellus?" he asked her. "Wouldn't he be infuriated if he knew you were with me?"

"Why would he be infuriated? And don't call him that."

"Well, he does like to 'take revenge' against me every time he sees me near you, in case you haven't noticed. And he's always following you around like a puppy; pretty creepy guy, if you know what I mean."

"Tuh, no creepier than you are."

"So where is he?"

"He decided not to come to Hogsmeade; this morning he said he didn't feel very well," Lily answered. "Not that it's any of your business, Potter."

"Well, just asking. Wasn't sure if you two got in a fight or something…" James shrugged. Lily had her old disgusted-with-you face back on.

"Ha! Like you care about anything," she said irritably. And then, from the corner of her eye, she spotted Gwen and another Hufflepuff, Delilah Macmillan, walking by The Post Office down the street. Beyond that, over the shops, was the sun just beginning to set. There was an hour left before students had to return to school.

"It's getting late," Lily said, quite suddenly, remembering how she had told James she wouldn't stay for the whole time. "Well, now we're even, Potter. You saved my magazine, I had butterbeer with you. Happy?"

"Aw, why are you leaving?" asked James, thoroughly disappointed—and looked it. "C'mon, we haven't even gone to some of the other shops. I was gonna take you to Honeydukes and Zonko's. They've got some new and really neat stuff at those places."

"Thanks, but no thanks. Maybe some other time," Lily replied, absentminded and ready to leave. She wondered what Severus was doing…he had told her he'd be in the library reading and doing homework. She wondered why he'd be _there_ if he said he was sick.

"I'm holding you to that!" James said loudly as she stood up and walked her way out of _Three Broomsticks._ "Have a nice day, Lily Evans!"

He watched her leave the premises and sat back and sighed. _Well, it's a start,_ he thought. _Before it was just 'Get out of my way, Potter!' Now she'll tell me her sister's name and the origin of her own. It's a start, Prongs, it's a start!_

A few miles away, Remus, Peter, and Sirius were drinking at the Hog's Head. Remus was fingering his mug of gillywater, a new dragon fruit flavor. Peter was drinking some firewhiskey in courtesy of Sirius, who had managed to use James' Invisibility cloak—although he used it just as much, so it was pretty much both of theirs—to go behind the bar without the barman Tom watching. Sirius himself was drinking nothing; he had no appetite. He was too busy thinking about how Lily had told Lucius she was 'actually in a good mood.' Was it because of this morning in the Owlery—because of _him_?

He was also half angry at himself: why hadn't it been _him_ who had saved Lily's magazine? The chance was right there when Lucius was attacking…why didn't he act before James did? Then this day could've ended up being different.

_Is it because that's what I always do? _Sirius wondered. _I let James have that limelight and then help out if he needs it?_

And where the hell were James and Lily right now? And what were they doing? Perhaps they were petting the owls at the Post Office? Or maybe feeding each other Honeydukes chocolates? Even worse, were they cuddling at Madame Puddifoot's?

_Get a grip. Lily hates James and wouldn't touch him with a Comet Two-Sixty._

_Then why did she agree to his date proposal in the first place? _

_Dunno, mate. But I think your luck has run gone._

_This was supposed to be MY chance to see her..._

_I thought you promised yourself you wouldn't think about her?_

_Well…I lied._

It was then that Sirius realized Remus was watching him intently.

"What ya thinking about, Padfoot?" he asked him curiously.

"Ah, nothing, Moony. Nothing at all."

Remus shrugged and said, "Okay, man," and proceeded on to bothering Peter with a sparkler. Sirius was glad. It gave him more time to think. But there really wasn't much to think.

All he knew was that he was wishing with all his might that he could be where James was right now.


	8. Severus's Secret

Note: I'm so sorry for the year-long delay! Junior year in high school was hell, so I hadn't been able to pick this back up until now. I'm currently on vacation so I'll have A LOT more time to spend on writing and getting back into the groove. Reviews would be amazing, especially from my past reviewers. :D

**Chapter #8: Severus's Secret**

Lily was walking in the opposite direction of where she had seen Gwen. She was on her way back to Hogwarts. Her mind was still full of confusion about what she had just spent two hours doing, of actually _enjoying_. In her hand was _The Practical Potioneer,_ the magazine she had ended up not reading.

Since when had she ever been in debt to James Potter? Better question, since when did she ever owe a favor to him, let alone decide to have a butterbeer with the prat?

But Lily didn't think of him as a selfish, arrogant prat like before. He was more of an annoying kid, and this decrease in hate disappointed herself. She wanted to keep on hating James and think of him as a slug and want nothing to do with him.

She still felt that way, but her feelings had changed somewhat; her afternoon had begun to make her think that he might actually have a heart, might actually be _funny_.

_Don't be stupid, Lily,_ she thought to herself. _It's Potter, the one who's always teased you from day one; it's the selfish wizard who thinks of nothing but himself, who you wished you could obliterate from your life._

All right, she had to admit that her afternoon hadn't been unpleasant. And there were things she learned about James that she never knew before. Who would've known he was unable to feel his pinky?

Not that it mattered much, but Lily wondered if anyone else had taken notice of her unusual companion in Hogsmeade. If so, what did they think? What did it look like, seeing Lily Evans and James Potter having a butterbeer together and making conversation at the local pub?

Lily shook her head, trying to clear her mind of these incomprehensible labyrinths. She wasn't really sure why she was even brooding over this at all. She had returned to the school for a purpose. She wanted to find Severus.

Severus had said that he wasn't really feeling up to a Hogsmeade trip, that he felt almost sick, so Lily had advised him to go to Madame Pomfrey. At first she wanted to stay with him, but he had firmly turned down the offer. Refused. Forbade, almost.

"No, you can't!" he had said fiercely. Then, with a softer tone, "you shouldn't let me interfere with your weekend plans, Lily. Trust me, I'll be fine. I'll just hang out in the library and do homework or something."

That was all very well, but hadn't Sev said he wasn't feeling good? Why the library? It didn't make sense at all to Lily. Severus had never lied to her before, as far as she was concerned. However, something about the way he had urged her to go to Hogsmeade, to _not_ stay with him, made her feel uneasy.

She wanted to go see him right now and find out what he was up to, if anything.

Severus was getting impatient. Worried, too. It had been at least a couple hours, and he knew that the students, third years and older, would be returning from Hogsmeade sometime soon.

There weren't many people roaming on the seventh floor. Most of the students were all either in their dormitories, at Hogsmeade or enjoying the sunshine out on the school courtyards. And, on the weekends, the teachers enjoyed both solitude and casual teacher gatherings in the confinements of their cozy offices.

In fact, there was currently nobody to be seen on the corridors of the seventh floor except for Severus Snape.

"One more time," Severus breathed out quietly. He closed his eyes once and opened them again, just as he slowly began to walk towards a blank wall. Right before hitting it, Severus gingerly shifted his foot and continued on his right side. He kept his eyes looking down, staring at the stone-cold floor with such intensity that he was sweating. He only looked up briefly to avoid hitting the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy, who was trying and failing to teach three trolls how to dance ballet.

Barnabas hesitated for a couple seconds, just long enough to glance at Severus with a sort of desperate exasperation.

"Shut_ up,_ I know what you're going to say," Severus muttered through gritted teeth. "This is going to work, I know it will. It's got to." He continued to walk in a circular direction until he ended right where he'd started. But Severus didn't stop there. He retraced the same circle with the same steps at the same pace for another round, concentrating hard on some visual in his mind, and was just a quarter complete with his third circle when…

"Severus!"

Startled, he wheeled at the shrill cry of a very familiar voice. There she was, Lily Evans, looking up at Severus with an accusatory look and her hands on her hips. One of her hands clutched _The Practical Potioneer_.

"Sev, _what­­_—are you—doing?" she managed, approaching him. Too close. "Do you realize how possessed you look when you go around in circles like that? And why are you here? You told me you were going to be in the library." An eyebrow shot up.

"Lily!" Severus croaked helplessly. _No! Not yet! I'm not ready, it's not time. _"Um, well I did stop by the library but I got bored so I decided to explore the castle more and—and sort of ended up on this floor. How did you _find_ me?"

"Oh, well it wasn't easy, mind you," Lily replied, clearly still reproachful. "All I did was stop by the Hospital Wing _twice_—the second time, Madame Pomfrey assured me that Mister Snape had not stopped by—and the library three times. Then, I tried the Slytherin common room but nobody trusted me with the password. _Finally_, I just gave up after Slughorn tried to lure me into his office for 'a nice chat and cup of tea.' I said I was on my way back to the dormitory because I was really tired. I had no choice but to come back here. And here _you_ are after all this time." She shook her head. "Sev, you still haven't answered. Why are you here? _What_ are you doing? And why did you lie to me?" There was a sliver of disappointment—sadness, confusion, disbelief— in Lily's voice.

"Don't be mad, Lily," Severus pleaded. "I didn't know you'd be coming back early. If I had, I would've come down to meet you."

"But what are you doing here?" Lily asked again, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion as she looked around, trying to find some sort of evidence that would give her an answer.

"Nothing…" Severus said guiltily, and then sighed. He was terrible at lying to Lily and never seemed to be able to pull it off.

"Yeah right." Then, a disturbing possibility, a trembling thought, traveled through Lily's mind. "Sev…_Severus Snape, are you doing some sort of Dark Arts project or experiment that you don't want me to know about_?"

"What, no!" Severus said automatically and defensively. "Merlin's beard, Lily, trust you to think up of a crazy idea like that!"

"Crazy? Yes, it is crazy. To me. But not to you and your little Dark Arts gang. Oh Severus, your friends are so mean! Right before we were released to go to Hogsmeade, Malfoy harassed me. Badly. Worse than usual."

"What?" Severus was momentarily distracted. He took a misstep outside of his continuous and almost-completed third circle. "What did he do, Lily?!"

"He called me names—as usual—and then tore my magazine in shreds!" Lily accused. "If it weren't for James—Potter, I mean—then who knows Malfoy would've done next. See how terribly mean your friends are? Malfoy, at least?"

"Wait—_what_? Potter was there?"

"Yes," said Lily. "He stood up for me and got detention for it along with Malfoy."

"Oh Lily," Severus began, hating himself for not being there for her. "I'm really sorry. I should've come along; maybe then Malfoy wouldn't have done that to you. I'm going to have a word with him later."

"Oh _don't_. Please, I hate confrontations! I'll only forgive you if you'll just tell me what you're _doing_. Severus, _please_ tell me you're not up to some Dark Arts tricks, because if so, we've got a serious problem." With that, Lily crossed her arms and waited.

"Come now, Lily, the Dark Arts isn't _that_ bad. If it was, the staff wouldn't even have a class for it. It's an important subject."

Lily gasped. "So you _are_ here doing some Dark Arts magic?" she cried in horror.

"_No_, Lily!" Severus sighed. There was no way around now, he could see that. It wasn't that bad, telling her what he was up to. He only wished he'd had just a little more time. He wasn't even sure if this was going to work out in the end. He heaved a deep sigh of resignation and said, "Okay, Lil, I'll tell you. I just really wish I could've had more time before I showed you, but I don't want you to go thinking that I'm breaking rules or doing creepy stuff." He paused, and Lily waited some more. He took another breath.

"Okay Lily," he repeated. "Can you keep a secret?"

Lily's eyebrow rose, but he could see the faint curl of her mouth. "Depends on the secret, Sev. I promise to seriously consider keeping it after you tell me what it is."

"You are unfunny," Severus said, pouting. "Well, I know you will keep it because if you don't, you won't get to enjoy your surprise." He suddenly pressed his hand to his mouth. "Oops."

Lily's arms unfolded and she took several steps towards Severus. "A surprise? For me? Oh Severus! You're kidding, right?"

"Nope."

"What kind of surprise?" There was a suspicious look on her face now.

Severus had already broken his continuous pattern so there was no point in staying where he was. His disappointment in Lily's sudden discovery and his own defeat was waning fast; excitement was building up inside of him. He was eager to share his secret now after all this time.

He took Lily by the shoulders and lured her away from prying paintings, statues and any other potential eavesdroppers. As quietly as he could,

"A couple months ago, I found something absolutely _amazing_, Lily," Severus whispered enthusiastically. "You see that wall there?"

He pointed.

Lily glanced towards that direction and nodded. "Yeah?"

"A couple months ago, I was trying to find Professor Trelawney because I had to give her something. But I'd never been to her classroom before and all I knew was that it was in the North Tower on the seventh floor." Severus paused to catch his breath.

"Go on," said Lily, feeling curious now.

"Well, I got lost and stopped by this corridor to figure out exactly how I was supposed to go from here. And I found…_I found the Room of Requirement, Lily!"_


	9. Utopia

Notes: "Absobloodylutely" IS, in fact, real British slang. I made up Lily's own ideal "utopia": it was never really mentioned in the Harry Potter books. I really enjoyed writing the little fine details of this chapter. I really hope you enjoy it too!

**Chapter #9: Utopia**

"The _what_?"

Severus sighed in exasperation at Lily's anticlimactic response. "Have you not heard any rumors about the one room that is only available to those who are in need?"

Lily shook her head. "No, I haven't. What kind of room is _that_?"

"I've heard kids talking before about some sort of theory about a hidden room. Nobody knows where it is or how it got there. Those who even _know _of it just know that it's a hidden room in the castle and, if the right person passes by at the right time, it will appear only for that person."

"What do you mean the 'right person'?"

"'In theory,' the room only opens to witches and wizards who are desperately in need for something."

"Okay…"

"Well, nobody really thinks much about it since there's, like, a thousand theories and secrets about Hogwarts. I didn't either until I actually _found_ the room."

"How did you get in?" Lily's voice couldn't suppress the obvious excitement that matched Severus's now. He beamed.

"It was all luck, really, but I still remember it so well. That day, I got really frustrated about getting lost and stopped to think. I walked passed this wall three times, all the while wishing to know how to get to Trelawney's room and…this door appeared."

"Wicked," Lily whispered.

"I know, right," Severus grinned. He practically shoved his strands of long, black hair out of the way as he continued, "Anyway, I didn't want anyone else seeing me walk into a wall, so I only opened the door when the hall was empty. And I found a room with a gigantic map of Hogwarts pinned up to a wall. Trelawney's classroom was circled that seemed to have been written with the same ink that was used to draw the rest of the map. Beside the map was a piece of parchment pinned up as well with specific instructions on how to get there from the Room of Requirement. It was absobloodylutely wicked!"

"I'll bet." Lily giggled. "So how did you find it again, Sev? And what could you possibly have been working on for _two months_ regarding this…this Room of Requisite?"

"Requirement," Severus corrected. "On your surprise, of course."

"But what IS the surprise?" Lily begged as if she was a child again. "Come on, Sevvy, just tell me."

Severus let out a slippery chuckle. "Sure, sure. Well, Lily, I am hoping I know you well enough to know exactly what you love most." And suddenly, he was nervous. Worried that he'd gotten this whole thing wrong.

"Love most?" Lily repeated blankly. "Well, you know I love the art of potion-making. And…and my favorite food is shepherd's pie. You mean stuff like that?"

"Yeah…kind of." How was he supposed to describe this…surprise? "Well, Lily Evans," he continued after clearing his throat, "as your best friend, I feel it was only right for me to use this room to give you everything you've ever wanted. I, uh, hope I did this right." A wave of nervousness washed over him as he told Lily, "come. Follow me."

Lily took Severus's outstretched hand, unsure of what to expect. Everything her friend was saying seemed bizarre, yet she could not help but believe him. The way he was talking about this room with such excitement as well as fear and the fact that his story that would've been impossible to make up in just moments confirmed her belief.

Nobody was currently occupying the hallway but them, which seemed to satisfy Severus. He took a deep breath.

"Okay, Lil', I'm not quite sure how this is supposed to work. I've never tried this with another wizard before, but I really hope it'll work. If it won't, I'll hex myself."

"You will _not_," Lily said firmly. "Don't worry, I have faith in you." She grinned at her best friend.

Severus took another deep breath and began walking slowly in a circle with Lily following close behind. He bent his head down and seemed to be concentrating very hard on something. After three revolutions, Lily looked up with Severus and both of their hearts seemed to sink and arch along with their backs.

"Damn," Severus said. "It didn't work." He paused for a moment. Then, "okay, Lily, you're going to have to work with me here."

Lily consented and, after another two revolutions, wished she hadn't. Severus had her follow him again, twice, and think "_hard_" on two different thoughts each time: the first was _whatever Severus Snape is thinking_, and the second was _my utopia._ Both resulted in no avail, and Severus was fuming.

"Oh, Sev, you know I believe you, but maybe it just won't work with both of us," Lily told him. This was true, but she was also tired of walking so much; and, if she was being honest with herself, a part of her thought that maybe this was only a part of Severus. That, maybe, it was but a dream of his.

"No!" Severus growled, getting back in position. "Once more. I think this will work. This time, think _Lily Evans' utopia: blood pops, potions, fountain._ Over and over again. Okay?" Lily almost burst out giggling; what a funny trio of items for such a funny mission. "Okay. _Last time, Sev._"

"Cross my heart." And the witch and wizard followed each other in another set of 3 circles, both looking down and thinking deep and hard about one subject, one thought.

At the end of the last revolution, Severus was the first to speak. "I can't bear this; I just know this time didn't work either. I'm—"

"_Look_!" Lily said breathlessly. The statue of Barnabus hesitated in his attempt to portray a perfect ballet jete to the trolls and peered to see what Lily was referring to. His forehead scrunched up, for he saw nothing; apparently, however, he was blind because Severus Snape looked up and gasped and said, "_Yes!_"

Severus took Lily's hand again, almost as if it were a reflex, and led her with him towards the door. "We did it!" he said excitedly. "I just hope everything's there."

Lily, still puzzled but thoroughly energized now, placed her almost quivering hand on the door and the two went into the Room of Requirement.

It was all there. Right there in front of them. Severus's black eyes sparkled with thrill and he felt a sense of true accomplishment. He, Severus Snape, had succeeded in giving Lily her very own utopia.

"It worked," he kept whispering over and over. "All we had to do was both think the exact same specific things and it worked." Lily Evans was clearly speechless, too shocked and enchanted to say anything. She kept staring ahead at her very own fantastical world. "Oh Severus," she said. "It is _so_ beautiful."

The room was transformed into some sort of outside garden. The ceiling was painted just like a sunny day's sky—or perhaps it was the sky itself—and there were brightly colored phoenixes flying overhead, lounging in trees or plucking lichee fruit from nearby bushes. The very center of the room was being occupied by a gigantic marble fountain through which pinkish-silver water was gushing out from the marble angel statues above. A gigantic library—no, lab—was set up on the left side of the fountain. Mountains of potions books and manuals and recipes were stacked up all around; on a long and wide counter stood several beakers, ingredients and a gigantic black cauldron.

In the right corner there stood a blue trampoline, the very trampoline that Severus and Lily used to play on when they were younger. A cross between a surprised gasp and cry escaped from Lily's lips when she saw it, and she released Severus's hand to approach it.

"This is amazing, Severus!" Lily told him as she sat down on the edge of the trampoline. Severus couldn't help but twist his thin lips into a beaming smile as he came to sit with her. "It brings back so many memories, and it is so lovely here. Phoenixes, _oh look!_" Lily carefully placed a hand on the graceful creature's head and then stroked its chin. The bird seemed to enjoy the gesture.

At that moment, a large, snowy-white owl lowered itself down to Lily's shoulders. She gasped with surprise at first, but when she realized what it was, she couldn't help but offer her finger to its amazingly strong claws. It wasn't until then that Lily realized the owl had a blood pop pressed in between its beak.

"Oh wow, I've always wanted one of these owls!" she exclaimed with delight, taking the blood pop from the owl.

"I know," Severus said, still grinning from ear to ear. "Now you have your very own 'St. Lucy.'" He scooted a little bit closer to her.

Lily slowly stroked the beautiful creature's feathers. It amazed her that it was much larger than her head, and almost larger than her entire torso. The owl nipped Lily's finger affectionately, then planted itself on her shoulder instead as if it knew that its weight was putting too much pressure on her single finger.

"You…like it?" Severus asked nervously.

"Like it? I _love _it…I love everything you've given me in this room, if you can still call this place a room." She paused to look at her best friend with fondness and curiosity. "How did you do it, Sev?" Her eyebrows pulled slightly together.

"I already told you," Severus said, cocking his head to one side.

"No, I know—I mean, there must've been more to the process for you to be working on it for so long."

"True. Well, to be honest, I don't think the Room of Requirement is supposed to work this way. I think people usually find it by accident and then don't find it again, and the first time they find it they're in need of something pretty general, you know? The bathroom, food or perhaps more parchment. After I'd memorized its location and I came back with my brilliant surprise idea, it was _really_ difficult getting exactly what I wanted: all this." Severus paused to catch his breath, but Lily nudged him to continue.

"It took a lot of practice. The first time, I just wished for a specific thing—I think the fountain. Each time after that, I wished for something more as well as every other specific thing I'd wished for in the past. It was almost like a memory game. Finally, I thought of _Lily's utopia_ and imagined this entire area very hard with all of its contents in place. Sometimes I'd screw up though. Some things would be missing or some of my other thoughts—like pumpkin juice or…or my last test grade—would be misplaced as items in the room. It was weird.

"I was _so_ relieved when we opened the room today and everything was in place as it should be. I'd been afraid to screw it up." At this, Severus darted his eyes away from Lily's face, embarrassed.

"Wow, Sev," Lily whispered. "Thanks so much. I love everything about my little utopia, but why did you do it?"

"Well…" This was one of Severus's deepest secrets, but not the darkest. On the contrary, it was the lightest part of him and that was why he had to keep it to himself. He couldn't risk a barrier, an obstacle, a problem to form in between him and Lily Evans.

Lily was waiting. "Well what?"  
How could he lie to her?

Severus couldn't, but maybe he could broaden the answer a bit to something much more innocent. Something safe.

He sighed and looked at her and willed himself to plaster a colloquial smile on his face. "Lil,' I don't _just _want to be your guardian. I've protected you since we were kids, but…but I want to make you happy, too."


	10. Promise

Notes: Avery's, Wilkes's, and Crabbe's first names were never given in the Harry Potter books, so I just made "Floyd," "Daniel" and "Rhett" up. And I just can't seem to make up my mind about Severus. I don't want him to be the antagonist! I wanted to end this scene with prose instead of dialogue, but the end seemed to fit. It just…flowed to a stop there.

**Chapter #10: Promise**

There. He said it. He'd gone and told her. Not the _entire _secret, but quite a large bite of it, as though it were a new experimental meal cooked for the first time using a faulty recipe.

Severus gulped and watched Lily Evans's expression, waiting for her first reaction—good or bad? Positive or negative?—to the meal. What if she hated it?

It seemed like eons had passed before the lines of her face rearranged themselves to create a new look, though it took less than a second.

Lily kissed his cheek.

Before Severus knew what was happening, it was over.

"Oh Sevvy, that's so sweet!" she said, putting her arm around him and hugging his skinny body. "And I _am_ much happier now because of this. It's the best present—and greatest surprise—I've ever received! Now, Mum and Dad's presents are nice, and the Remembrall that Gwen gave me is cool, but I've gotten _nothing _like this before. So magical, so _big_! WAY beyond the treasures of Christmas."

Severus blinked, having trouble processing everything that had just happened through his usually very keen senses. His skin seemed to have become paralyzed by the brief pressure of Lily's lips on his face.

"Sev? Severus?" Lily shook her friend gently. Severus jumped and looked at her with wide eyes.

"Oh, uh, y-yeah, thank you—_I mean_—no problem! No problem, I'm glad you like it." Was he blushing? He certainly hoped not, yet he could feel the heat rising in his neck and cheeks by the second. "Er, ah, so. A-hem. Uh."

Lily was watching Severus and started chuckling. "Sev, are you okay? You don't normally stutter."

Severus gulped. "Yeah, I'm—I'm fine." He cleared his throat and tried to do the same with his mind. "So how was your day, Lil'?" He added a grin along with his feeble attempt at small talk.

Lily grinned. "Other than receiving this great surprise of mine?" But the smile faded and she sighed. Severus watched her with a curious expression and said, "I mean, besides that incident with Lucius, wasn't the rest of your Hogsmeade trip with Gwen fun?"

She nodded. "Oh yes, it was, but I wasn't with Gwen. Now, Sevvy, please don't get mad at me. I…I let Potter take me for a drink at Three Broomsticks after the incident."

"_You WHAT?_" And, like that, Severus was on his feet and shouting. "What happened to staying away from Potter and the rest of _his _friends? What happened to all that '_Potter sucks,' _and _'I won't let Potter get to me, Severus,' _and '_I hate him worse than the rest of the Marauders put together'_ business?"

"Severus, please." Lily pleaded. "It's not that bad! I mean, you've got to admit that him saving me from Malfoy was a pretty nice thing of him to do. I mean…"

Severus punched a fist into his other palm. "If only I'd been there…if only I had gone to Hogsmeade…maybe I could've been the one to kick Lucius Malfoy's ass for you…" And for just a moment, his eyes narrowed so thinly that they looked like a snake's eyes. Or its nostrils. They flared.

"_No!_" Lily cried, looking quite shaken, and grabbed her friend's arms and pushed him back down on the trampoline. Severus bounced lightly on the flexible material, but his expression did not change. It frightened her whenever her best friend got pissed off like this. "Don't be upset, please! I _am _glad you weren't there, but that's only because I didn't want you to get in trouble. James and Malfoy both got detention for it, see?"

He was livid. It felt like a rhino—or perhaps an entire stampede—was charging inside of him, as though it were caged and wanted to get out. _Out._ "James? JAMES? You're going by first-name terms now? Lily, how could you? Soon you'll be calling Sirius Black—the wretched dog!—Sirius, and the Lupin character Remus, and—and…!"

But then, Severus stopped at a noise that sounded like pure music to him. Lily was giggling in peals.

"Oh, Sevvy! Have I made you jealous? What a terrible J-word…" And, without a warning, she was hugging him again. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to."

"_Jealous?_" Severus spluttered that word out as if it was a swear, but Lily kept going.

"You know you'll always be my best friend, Severus!" she said, sounding very much like her young child self again. "This one outing with James Potter won't change a thing between us! It couldn't! Even if on the, uh, unlikely event that wizard and I become friends, he will never mean anything like you mean to me. Don't you see, Sev?"

Presently, Severus was trying to convince himself that this was not it, regardless of what his feelings for Lily were. _I'm not jealous!_ he thought vigorously. _I'm not! I won't admit it! _Then, he realized that if he really wasn't, then he wouldn't have had any reason to "not admit" _or_ "admit" anything. Not if there was nothing to admit anyway. He sighed.

"Yes, I see," he muttered in resignation, nevertheless feeling mortified. The rhino—stampede—inside of him started breathing normally again and lowered itself back down. "I know, I'm just being…irrational. Stupid."

"No, no, you're not stupid. Remember our promise, Severus! Remember what we say before every term starts? 'No matter how this semester goes, we'll always be friends till The End. Trust me, Sev, this isn't The End." She grinned and Severus couldn't help not doing so as well.

"It's just…I can't help but wonder…if _Potter_—" he growled the name, "—can tame you into accepting him (at least for now), why can't I persuade you to give my friends a chance, too?" He folded his hands and stuffed them under his pits, clearly in despair and discomfiture. He kept his eyes near the ground and watched as two phoenixes roughhoused with their beaks like two children.

Lily made a noise, a cross between a groan and a sigh. "Severus! Did I not just tell you that _Lucius Malfoy, _one of your Slytherin 'friends,' just—"

"I—I meant maybe some of my other friends…" Severus mumbled. "I know Lucius can be mean sometimes, but not all Slytherins are bad."

"I…I know that. I'm talking about your little circle of friends who all just happen to be Slytherins. They're not nice!"

"Have you met any of them _besides Lucius?_ Floyd Avery, for instance? He's a cool guy."

"No, but he glowered at me once."

"Evan Rosier?"

"Who?"

"Daniel Wilkes? Rhett Crabbe?"

"Okay! Okay! I get your point." Lily put up her hand to silence Severus. "Well what do you want me to do? I mean, I _suppose _I could come with you and hang out with them for a day—"

"Exactly."

There was a one-inch gap between her upper lip and lower lip, showing all of her very white and very clean teeth.

Lily Evans did not know her mouth had dropped until Severus was lightly patting her jaw. "Lily, hello?"

"Hi…" Lily slowly closed her mouth and laughed once. "You know I was kidding."

"No, I think that's a perfect idea. Really." There seemed to be a shiny glow in Severus's black eyes, wide with excitement now. "Hmm…we don't have classes tomorrow so we could all just meet in the library or perhaps the Great Hall. I can tell them all about it tonight."

"But Severus!" Lily was panicking now. It was a terrible stereotype, she knew, but it existed with good reason. She'd known Hufflepuffs, other Gryffindors and even a couple Ravenclaws—particularly top Quidditch players—to be bullied and cornered by big Slytherin hotshots. The Slytherin House was known to be the dark side of Hogwarts. Dark Arts. Severus's thing.

Lily looked down and bit her lower lip until it started becoming painful. The thought of being surrounded by several mean Slytherins all at once—even with Severus beside her—with Malfoy in front made her want to shudder.

Severus was watching her, and she realized that she _had_ just shuddered. "Oh Lil', I know what you're thinking." He scooted closer to her. "Don't worry, I'll be right beside you when I introduce you. I'll warn them to be nice, especially Malfoy. He just likes his little games, that's all. He's really not all that bad. A really smart kid, actually."

Lily heard him but wouldn't look up. She was too busy brushing her trainers against the deep green grass, the grass that _Severus _had given her. Along with the rest of her utopia.

If she was being honest with herself, she really didn't know if this was a good idea or not. But she did know it would be unfair for Severus if she refused. After all, hadn't she just spent over an hour chatting and spending time with the _one _person she'd vowed to avoid and abhor for all of her days at Hogwarts? And Severus had done so much for her than _he'd _ever had.

The least she could do was meet Severus's friends. Like he said. Give them a chance.

She sighed and said, "Okay Severus. I'll try. I can't promise that I won't be disappointed, but I promise to try and be their friends."

"_Yes!_" Severus was the one hugging her now, his eyes closed and a relieved smile dancing upon his lips. "Thank you, Lily. I promise you won't be disappointed."

"We'll see." And she was grinning too.

If anything, she would promise him this so that he would be happy.


	11. Thoughts

Notes: After all the dialogue and big events in those last few chapters, I thought I'd have this chapter slow things down a bit. But even though it's mellow and quiet, it makes a quite significant turn in the plot. Enjoy! :)

**Chapter #11: Thoughts**

It was almost past midnight and James was still awake. Outside, a heavy thunderstorm seemed to be angrily shaking the entire castle. Every few moments, lightening would flash and turn the night into a hovering ghost, haunting the school grounds with its fierceness. Seconds after, thunder would come with a big _bang! _as though it was competing with the lightening for greatness.

However, James Potter was hearing and seeing none of this, and neither did anybody else in the Gryffindor boys' dormitory. He was lying in bed in his red-and-gold striped pajamas with the covers pulled tightly over his body. But, unlike everyone else snoring soundly in their beds, he had his eyes wide open and a smile curled between his lips. His muscular arms had been leisurely tossed underneath his head and he was staring up at the ceiling, imagining…

_"Why don't…why don't we go down to Hogsmeade together?" I'd asked her quite nervously. It had felt very strange; nervousness isn't one of my daily emotions. "You know…catch a butterbeer and look at the shops and stuff."_

_Lily looked surprised for a moment; only seconds had passed but it felt like years before her eyebrow—beautiful, like every other part of her body—became raised and she smiled at me. It had been enough to make my heart leap all the way into my mouth. _

_"Why? You think just because you saved my magazine you get to go out with me?" Lily had challenged. Teased, almost. _

_I smiled my irresistible smile and shrugged the cool way. "Well, I did get detention for it." The guilt trip always works. _

_"Detention means nothing to you. You get detention all the time." Or not._

_"Well, you do owe me now, no matter what." I grinned even wider, knowing that I'd trapped her with my logic. If only I could just trap Lily Evans in my arms… "I mean, you don't want everyone—especially not Slughorn—to know you're in debt to James Potter."_

_And, unexpectedly, my girl laughed a clear sound that seemed to vibrate through my ears and echo five times more afterward. _

"_Fair enough…"_

James's grin widened, widened and widened a bit more until his whole face was sore as he replayed this scene during the Hogsmeade trip over and over again in his mind. _Lily_, he thought. _She's so beautiful. And so funny…and smart and cool. She's so perfect. _Just the thought of touching the small of her back and brushing his lips lightly over her long brown eyelashes made him quiver.

Oh, and how horrified her face had looked when that greasy son of a bitch had torn up her magazine! The second James had understood what was going on, a burning sensation had taken place inside the pit of his stomach and had spread throughout the rest of his body like a wildfire. He hadn't even known that he'd been talking smack at Lucius Malfoy until he finished talking.

James hadn't been _afraid_. Not at all. He talked smack all the time to kids; hell, _he _was the wizard nobody else dared to mess with or talk smack _to_. All he'd wanted was to get Malfoy _away_ from Lily Evans and to show Lily that he deserved a chance. That he was all-around a pretty good guy.

Thank Merlin it had worked.

To be honest, James wasn't sure if Lily had considered today's date—yes, in his mind it certainly had been a _date_—to be her permission for him to prove himself to her from now on, but _he_ certainly took it that way.

_Ah, _James thought now. _Prongs, old man, you've done it. _It would be some time now before he got the girl.

_Lily…Lily Evans…_

Lily Evans. James had never, _ever_ liked one witch this much before. Even now, he still wasn't quite sure why he fancied her. Of course, she was _hot._ There was no doubt about that. Yet, so many girls at Hogwarts were cute and hot and many of them had expressed interest in James. But he'd only flirted shamelessly, egged some on and even given blind dates. But meeting the real Lily Evans now made him want to stop all of that and concentrate on one thing: _just her. _

A few days ago, Moony had had the nerve to ask whether or not his newfound infatuation with Lily Evans had anything to do with the fact that this witch was the only witch who had always expressed nothing but disgust towards him.

Wondered if she was just this week's "catch"?

Or was this perhaps a new sport of James's: to chase the best girls instead of

letting them do the chasing?

"_What the hell is your problem, man?" I had asked, almost snapped. "You've never been on my case before when it came to witches."_

_"I've got no problem, James, so calm your stupid self down, please. Professor Merrythought is watching us," Remus grumbled back. _

_We were in Defense Against the Dark Arts, working on a research paper. Merrythought looked up at the sound of our whispers and said in a sonorous voice with a pitch that matched her elevated height, "Kindly continue working _without _talking!" She turned her back to continue writing, or rather swooping notes on the board with her wand._

_"Your fault," Remus hissed through gritted teeth at me. But he scribbled on a spare piece of parchment, _Don't get mad. I've just never seen you so into one girl before. There's nothing wrong with that, but you can't blame me for being baffled. What's got you interested in Evans, man?

_He nudged me to read the note. I skimmed it and wrote three words underneath his message: _I'm not sure.

_Remus replied in a rather agitated fashion: _Come on, Jay-Wiz. It's me, Moony the Marauder. I'm not some random idiot like Felip Gale or Bertram Aubrey. You can tell me whatever. And trust me, I'm also not about to steal your girl. You can have the Carrot. _Then, he grinned at me to show that he was kidding. What a terrible joke. _

_Even so, I glared at Remus and popped his knuckle hard before quickly scrawling back in handwriting that would've made Merrythought give me a failing grade: _You moron, Moony! Don't call Lily that anymore, I mean it. And I was being serious. I really am not sure.

_Remus paused, making sure that Merrythought still had her back turned, then proceeded to read and write back. _

So…think this is the real deal, mate?

_He knew that I knew what he was talking about._

Yep.

No more Betty Mousse, Clarissa Bobbin, Mary-what's-her-face?

It's Mary Margaret. And that's right. No more. Just Lily Evans.

Wow…big step there. You must be serious this time. That sounds strange. You, being serious. Ha.

_Yes, this is a big step, yet it feels so natural to me. I had begun to realize that there isn't anything, well, special about flirting with a stranger. Even if she _does_ go to the same school as you and perhaps is even in the same class with you, you still don't know anything about her except the way her body curves and perhaps what she smells like._

_Besides, from now on I don't want to smell anybody else but her…_

James heaved a great big sigh, but none of the snoozing boys nearby stirred. He tossed over to one side and fixed his eyes on the blank wall. He didn't see it, however; he was only seeing and thinking of Lily Evans and anything and everything that had to do with her. Why couldn't he get her out of his mind? Just as well, did he _want _to get her out of his mind? In truth, no. He did not.

He smiled a small smile to himself. He'd always thought Lily was cute ever since they'd met on the Hogwarts Express train four years ago, but he never thought she would become his dream. _And look at me now, _he thought, _trying to make this dream a damn reality._ He was sorry now that he'd ever made fun of her.

Yes, James loved her now. He loved Lily Evans. What a strange feeling, for it felt _nothing _like crushing or harmlessly flirting. On the contrary, it seemed almost dangerous. Lily didn't act normally—that is, how every other witch acted—around James, and James's priorities had now changed entirely. Every new day in the future all now looked like a big fat question mark. _Will she? Won't she?_

And suddenly, James found his very-awake mind forming plans on how to win Lily's heart. Funny how that sounded to him; it'd always been the other way with other girls. But then again, Lily Evans was different from other girls, in more ways than one.

Why Lily Evans, Remus had asked? Because she was who she was. It was true. Her bright red mane, her passion for Potions, her curves, her vibrant laughter, her spunkiness…he truly loved it all. But he knew that really wasn't all. There was so much more he didn't know about her; so much more that was a mystery.

James had a queer look on his face, almost as if he were high. His grin was slightly lopsided as he readjusted his position on the bed. His continuous blinking gradually slowed until his eyes drooped and finally closed.

_Lily…she's so beautiful…_

_Lily Evans…Lily Potter. _

_Lily…_

"Lily." As his lips mouthed this single name silently and lovingly, the sound that matched the name was uttered out loud. But it wasn't from _his_ vocal cords.

James opened his eyes abruptly and blinked several times. Though he'd been on the brink of sleep, his lips had still been mouthing the name _Lily_ several times to himself. But he could've sworn that he hadn't been talking out loud. Yet, he'd heard Lily's name quite clearly.

He sat up and squinted in the darkness. Barefooted, James climbed quietly out of bed and skimmed the room over for a moment. It was very late and the storm had finally subsided. All was quiet except for Remus's constant snores and an occasional _tap, tap _of drizzling rain outside. Maybe he'd imagined it.

James turned to get back into his cozy nook. If he really was intent on pulling off all his grand plans tomorrow, he needed a good night's sleep. Not a bunch of hallucinations.

"Lily."

James Potter wheeled around, certain that he'd heard it _this _time, and started

towards the direction he thought it had come from. His eyes were beginning to adjust to the primitive milieu and he could now make out the lumpy shapes of his fellow roommates.

"Lily Evans." A gruff voice muttered almost restlessly. "_Lil'._"

The last murmur was the loudest as James came closer. He trembled as he bent down to identify the sleep-talker. Black shaggy hair covered the culprit's entire face.

James lowered his head to get closer, turning it dubiously to one side.

"Oh, Lily," the voice sighed all the more louder.

James jumped back, startled. But he didn't move away at all. He stared.

It was Sirius Black.


	12. Moony and Prongs

Notes: I began this a few days ago, bearing in mind that it would be short but necessary, but it became much longer when I discovered the joys of writing RJL's point of view. His "heightened senses" is just a guess; I don't know if that's really true. And I just made up Peter's orientation. I didn't proofread this very much, so please let me know what you think of it and point out any mistakes I made! In other words, R&R would be lovely. :]

**Chapter #12: Moony and Prongs**

The ceiling of the Great Hall was a dull grey, an unsurprising aftermath after last night's terrible squall; however, it seemed as though most of Hogwarts' residents hadn't heard the tempest at all last night, though many appeared to be in a terrible mood.

The Great Hall was packed full of hungry students as they all squirmed in to get to their rightful House Table. Ravenclaws, Slytherins, Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors all scrambled to get the first helpings of the best breakfast dishes.

People shoved past James Potter, grumbling about slow, obtuse wizards and glaring at those who fit such a description regardless of their usual popularity level. James was noticing none of this, which was odd enough since he was not used to such ill treatment by his usually adoring peer admirers. He was hurrying as well, not for food, but for a certain friend of his.

Remus John Lupin was ravenous, having had had a very early dinner the previous night at Hogsmeade with his fellow Marauders—not including Prongs, of course—and hit the sack unusually early, which had resulted in his skipping the school's provided supper. His stomach grumbled with utmost satisfaction as he shoved into his mouth the very first piles of scrambled eggs on the Gryffindor table.

"_Ahh,_" he choked out before proceeding on pleasurably with his fodder. However, his third mouthful was hindered when a hand shot out and slapped his back twice.

"_Easy_ there, Moony," said a familiar voice. "You stuff anything else in your mouth within the next five seconds, and I'll be performing the Heimlich maneuver on you in a jiff." James sat down beside his best friend and helped himself to a few strips of bacon.

Remus meant to say _sure, sure thing_ but only flecks of egg and inaudible muffles of sound escaped from his mouth. He swallowed and heaped his plate with even more food, not bothering to repeat himself.

"Had a good one yesterday, mate?" he said instead, nudging James with his elbow. "Get any action, or was it just an epic failure as usual?"

"What?" James was momentarily distracted, and Remus caught him glancing farther down the table to where Sirius was eating with just as much enthusiasm as everyone else with little Peter, Jacques Burrows and a few other Gryffindors. Then, he turned his head to the opposite way and cringed to get a glimpse of Lily.

Remus heard James utter a slight whine, almost under his breath but not inaudible to the most sensitive of eardrums. His own eyes skimmed over Lily and noticed with impossible acuity that there was a dab of butter unnoticed on the side of her rosy-lipped mouth. He looked back at James, never moving his face more than an inch to make sure he still appeared indifferent, and spotted an expression that was clearly of longing and desire.

Moony's five senses had heightened extremely and incredibly ever since he'd been bitten and gotten used to the ways of werewolf living. It had been one of the few advantages of becoming a monster, or that was how _he'd_ thought of it.

Presently, he felt grateful for this particular "advantage" and wondered silently and curiously what James was up to, for he could feel that something was unsettling his restless friend. After all, it was unlike him to stock up on bacon and not eat it immediately. At the moment, however, he did not allow anything to occupy the central part of his mind besides the four pieces of toast he was downing.

Personally, Moony thought this whole affair was a lost cause; being the keen observer that he was, he figured Lily "The Carrot" really did hate poor old Prongs and was too stubborn to really ever reconsider her negative opinion of the Marauders.

Though Remus hadn't had the bad luck of finding a desirable witch who thought him to be scum, just watching the drama from afar made him feel rather bad for his ambitious friend. He was actually beginning to think James felt something more for this girl other than just _I-dig-you _lust. A few days ago, when Remus had inquired his friend's chase for Evans, James's responses had been so defensive that poor Remus couldn't help but think that something about Lily had changed the old chap somehow in a way that previous crushes hadn't.

It was just bad luck that "the final one" resented him passionately.

"James? _Hello_, mate!" He waved his hand impatiently in front of James's face. "I _said_, to put it briefly, how did your date go?"

"Quite swell," James said with a grin, turning back to his friend. He cleared his throat, took a bite of bacon and chewed slowly. "Listen, Moony…"

"What?"

"I, er, have got something to say."

"Okay. Go on, then, get cracking." Remus pretended to pay more attention to his corn-on-the-cob, but his ears were straining for the first sounds of some sort of confession or other.

"It's Sirius. Did you hear him mumbling last night?"

This caught Remus off-guard, for it wasn't what he was expecting. "Uh. No? Gone mad, has he? Been muttering in his sleep about some kangaroos, has he?"

"Not quite," said James, and all of a sudden, Remus could tell his friend was being very serious. Serious about Sirius. "It wasn't kangaroos, Moon, but Lily Evans. _The _Lily Evans."

"Oh…" Remus was suddenly very interested in a large platter of scrumptious-looking crumpets. He took three and immediately wolfed down the first. He didn't know what James could hear, but his own heartbeat was as loud as a horse's hoof on the ground.

"_Oh_, as in you heard him too? Or _oh_, you don't care? Or _oh_, you know something I don't?"

"None of them." The second crumpet was gone in seconds.

"Well, could you please talk to me, at least? Dammit! You're the psychiatrist of our bunch here…" James was right on that point.

Dr. Moony was what they called him sometimes; Peter had confessed to him once

that he was "the most understanding chap he knew" and that he was the only one he could "tell him about his 'fess-ups'." Indeed, Moony had yet to tell another wizard or witch that Peter Pettigrew had a crush on Hufflepuff Mark Winfield; who knew the squeaky creature was gay?

It didn't bother old Moony that his friends took him for a "psychiatrist"; they were always there for him as well, and he didn't mind being the shoulder. It rather pleased him on the contrary.

But this, no. He could not.

And he'd _really_ been hoping this wouldn't come up.

"Buzz off, Prongs. I don't like getting into the middle of things. This is between…well, between you and anybody but me."

James snatched the third crumpet from Remus's hand and smashed it down. "R.J., what's going on? Has Sirius talked to you about something I don't know? Why would he be mumbling about Lily in his sleep?"

"I don't know…" Remus mumbled. He could see the anxiety in James's eyes and looked down. God, this wasn't right. He _rarely_ acted in this uncertain way and James rarely mistrusted the Marauders. Hell, none of the Marauders mistrusted each other…usually.

"Remus, really now, mate! You've got to tell me…is Sirius in love with Lily? Is that it? _Is he?_" James's eyes were bigger than Galleons now and he was clutching Remus's wrist with surprising strength.

"Dude, chill." Remus yanked his arm away and held a spoon up to his mouth, but James slipped it from his thumb and forefinger, put it down and begged, "Remus, _please_ tell me what you know. I can't ask Sirius himself; he's not serious enough and will do nothing but joke around and avoid my questions."

Remus glared at James for a moment and then sighed. "Honestly, mate, I have _no _idea what's Lily to Sirius. But you said he mumbled about her last night in his sleep, which really doesn't surprise me. So…I must admit…" he closed his eyes and knew he would regret saying the next four words. "I do have theories."

"Theories?"

Remus looked up to meet James's narrowed eyes. "Well, ever since that day we all first saw Lily, he's been acting different."

"What do you mean?" At this, Prongs turned quickly and anxiously over at Sirius, who was still laughing and joking innocently with everyone else, and then returned his attention to Remus.

Remus groaned softly, wishing he had just left the table while he'd had the chance. Girls weren't the only victims of James's amazing persuasive skills; it was hard to ever deny his mate's pleadings for more food, more parchment, and—in the current situation—more information. "You see, yesterday when you ran off with Car—Evans, Sirius was particularly reluctant to leave. He seemed—_really_—upset about you leaving with her. It was like he didn't want to not know where you guys were going, what you guys were going to do. And before that, during the whole Malfoy incident, he was running off to Lily with you and he looked extremely pissed off about what Malfoy did.

"And when you tried catching up with her so many times to talk to her and befriend her, he was always beside you like before and there was that…_look_ on his face that clearly showed he wanted to follow. Or, better yet…it was like he wished he'd gone to her first. Before you."

Remus had his head down, feeling regretful and ashamed for sharing such information. It wasn't like him to gossip, especially not about his own best friends.

However, he kept a hardened expression; now that he'd spilled his knowledge, he was determined on keeping a neutral position. He _did _have a position on this.

"Sirius…and Lily?" James uttered in a whisper, almost a growl under his breath. The tone clearly expressed deep resentment for the title.

"Mate…don't be upset at Sirius," Remus said quietly but firmly.

"I'm…I'm not," James replied unconvincingly. "I'm just surprised. And confused."

Remus looked up. "Why are you confused? Lily Evans is a very desirable witch this year; there are many other blokes who have been trying to get her attention besides The Marauder Twins."

"Really?" James's eyes widened; Remus knew he didn't like the idea of even more competition. "Besides Snivellus, too?"

"Yes, besides him. _If you pay more attention to your surroundings, Potter, you might find something more interesting than your hair and that Snitch_," Remus said in a rich voice, mimicking their strict, old-fashioned Transfiguration teacher.

James did not even twitch.

"How could Sirius do this to me? He _knows_ Lily's my girl…he _knows_ how strongly I feel about her—!"

"Well perhaps he feels the same way," Remus interrupted. "James. Lily. Is. Not. Your. Girl. She's not _any_body's girl. She's not some sort of lottery prize, you know."

"I know, I know that," his friend said impatiently. "What I mean is…look, Sirius is my best mate, and I'm _his_ best mate. Why did he have to go on and choose the _one_ witch, the _one_ person—?"

"With love, you don't get to choose at all," broke off Remus again, wisely. "You don't think Sirius _wanted_ to fall for her, do you? He already knows how she feels about us, and worse, he knows his best friend is already after her. Why would he choose to chase her as well? He's not a prat."

"Well, what should I do then?"

"Nothing."

"_Nothing_? Trust me, Moony, I don't want to confront Paddy about this at all, but if we keep secrets hidden from each other, then we're not even the Marauders anymore."

"Do _nothing_ unless you want to lose your best mate," Remus told James, fighting the urge to slam his fist down on the table. "Honestly, James, is _a girl_ much more important than the lad you've been hanging out with for years? I don't think so. Besides," he finally picked up his spoon and quickly ate its contents before James could stop him, "Sirius will confront you when he's ready. I'm sure of it. Just leave it alone now and focus on your own chasing or whatever it is you all are doing."

Remus was secretly glad that he wasn't apart of this rat race, for he was sure nothing good would come out of any of it.

James's head was reeling with thoughts, emotion and knowledge.

_Sirius loves Lily. Sirius loves Lily._ _Sirius loves Lily!_

Logically, he knew there was no way to know this for sure, but after all Remus had just spilled on him and after last night, he was sure there was no way that he was wrong in his assumption.

_Sirius loves Lily._

_My Sirius. My Lily. _

It was too much. A headache was just beginning to form underneath his temples, and James stood up with his head in his hands. He passed Remus and other Gryffindors with the childish goal of running away from his problems. Literally.

"Prongs? Prongs! Where ya headed? Wait for me, man!" Sirius's voice clouded in James's already stuffed mind. He heard the stool creak and quickly called back.

"Need air. _Later_."

James was running before Sirius could say anything else. He passed several other students, waking up too late for breakfast, and sprinted until he was outside in the school courtyard. He stopped at a stone wall. Luckily, he was all alone.

The air was cool and the sky was grey. Autumn was well into its course and leaves were beginning to change color rapidly; all the trees—big and small, tall and short, young and old—looked like they were on fire.

James slid down from the wall onto the browning grass and laid his head upon the cold stone. He closed his eyes, unsure of what to think or _how_ to think anymore.

It felt very uncomfortable—it even _hurt_—to know that Lily didn't return his feelings. But he was still trying to decide whether it was even worse knowing that his best friend loved _his_ love, but not knowing what his love felt for his best friend.

"Can I help you?" said a familiar voice. A _very_ familiar voice. Like a harp.

James looked up to see a beautiful, glowing, red-headed witch looking down at him with curious eyes. She looked like an angel.


	13. Cordelia, The Slytherin

Notes: Yes, I know it is very long! Forgive me. I tried to add a little more humor to it and make it more entertaining, to keep my readers and R&Rers from falling asleep. ;] Note the word "_galloping_" and its irony. And Millicent Bulstrode's mom is never mentioned, so I just made up "Cordelia Busltrode." "Bollocks" is British slang for "Absolute rubbish!"

**Chapter #13: Cordelia, The Slytherin**

**3303**

She had seen the messy-haired boy run out of the Great Hall with several pairs of eyes trailing after him, including her own. Before she'd known what she was doing, she was following him almost automatically as if it were an instinct, deaf to all of her friends who had called after her.

Now, she was looking down at James Potter, perplexed at finding him leaning on the stone wall of Hogwarts and sitting on the grass with his eyes closed. She'd never seen James like this before.

The moment she asked _can I help you?_ she regretted it. After all, who was she to think that she could help the leader of Marauders, the Potter boy everybody knew of, whether it was with hatred or admiration? Who was she to think she could help James Potter?

James opened his eyes in complete shock; he didn't move for at least a whole minute. Finally,

"Hi…" He blinked rapidly. "Um, I didn't think anybody else was here. Weren't you just at the Gryffindor table?"

"My apologies," Lily said, her tone suddenly full of ice. "I didn't know the courtyard was off-limits when a Marauder occupies it. I'll go now." She turned to leave.

"Hey—wait! Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. Don't…don't go."

Lily looked back at him, and after a pause, went to sit next to him.

"Rough day starting, I see?" she said, her voice softer now. "I don't normally see you, uh, galloping down the Great Hall like you're running away or sprinting for a marathon. Neither does anybody else."

"Yeah…well…I don't normally have feuds with my best friends either."

"Feuds?"

"It's nothing," James muttered. "It'll pass."

They were both silent for a moment; then, Lily stood up and patted James's head. His hair was surprisingly soft and silky underneath her fingers. "Well, whatever it is," she said sincerely, "I hope it'll blow over soon. See you, Potter."

She left the premises, not knowing that James's eyes were following her until she was gone.

"Where did you go?"

"What happened?"

"Where's James?"

Questions arose back at the Gryffindor table when Lily returned to her breakfast, though most of the commotion was over. All the students at the other House tables were back to their normal chatter and breakfast indulgences.

The whole James-Lily drama had had become fairly apparent to everyone within the past couple of weeks. How James was "madly in love" with Lily and how Lily didn't want to have anything to do with him. Watching Lily chase after James—literally—was a new angle they hadn't seen or heard of before.

"I'm not quite sure," Lily half lied. "I didn't really bother much with it; just went to see where he was going. He's sitting in the courtyard now, but don't bother. Nothing exciting going on, really." However, she only said that because, secretly, she felt like he probably needed some time alone. News spreads fast even at the great school of Hogwarts—the paintings on the walls were especially good at passing on the word—and, somehow, she didn't think a _feud_ between the Marauders was going to be taken lightly.

"_Really._" Gwen was grinning at her friend. "Whatever you say, Lil's."

"Yup. Oh look, more pancakes."

At that moment, a young and very small first year by the name of Retchie Singleton came over and handed a piece of folded parchment to Lily.

"From Professor Slughorn," the pipsqueak told her, then scampered off before Lily could say "thank you."

Gwen, Gizelle and Simon all leaned over to watch Lily open the letter.

"I reckon a _Slug-like meeting's_ in order," Simon said with a grin.

"More like a reunion," snickered Gizelle. "An assembly, perhaps."

Lily did nothing but roll her green eyes at her teasers. She knew they were only joking; they'd always thought it funny that she was a member of the infamous Slug Club, ever since their first year, when Slughorn had invited her to one of his meetings during Potions class. It wasn't that they thought she was incapable or unworthy, but that _Slughorn_ was unworthy. With his enormous potbelly and lazy ways of doing things, they thought he was somewhat a joke of a teacher.

Slughorn wasn't Lily's favorite teacher, but she thought him a "nice, decent fellow who knows his Potions." And she had to admit she loved it whenever he beamed at her "clever, formidable work."

Sure enough, Lily opened the parchment to reveal a short note in Slughorn's usual scribble:

**Slug Club Meeting**

** Today. The Potions classroom. Five o'clock. You are welcome to bring a friend. **

Lily sighed. She hoped this one wouldn't be too long, though the weekend meetings were, granted, easier on her than those on the weekdays when she had mountains of homework filling up her agenda. No, she only wished it wouldn't be long so she'd have enough time to fulfill her promise to Severus.

"Eh? Shore' nuff," said Simon. "'Tis a Sluggish meeting indeed."

"Oh be quiet," said Lily, though there was a hint of humor in her voice.

"Bring a friend? You oughtta' bring ol' James—or what do his friends call him?—_Prongs_, that's it. You oughtta' drag ol' Prongs there. Sluggy likes him, don't he?"

"Heck no!" Lily cried stridently, causing a few glances her way. "No, no, why would I bring him? I hate Potter…besides, Slughorn isn't crazy about him at all. Can't one of you come along with me?"

"Can't, got Quidditch practice," said Simon automatically. Lily turned to Gwen and Gizelle, who both immediately shook their heads regretfully. "Sorry, Lily. I have way too much homework that we've got to catch up on in Ancient Runes. Professor Babbling is, like, trying to murder us or something right before our next test," Gwen said.

"Yeah, sorry, Lil,'" added Gizelle.

Lily heartily told them that it was fine and they shouldn't worry about it, but the three didn't look convinced.

"Have fun with Runes! And you with Quidditch!" Lily called to her friends a few hours later. She was in a hurry, for the Slug Club meeting must have already started by this time. And although Slughorn was notorious for being late, he wasn't a fan of tardiness from his students.

"Yeah, and you with the Slugs," giggled Gizelle, who was arm in arm with Gwen.

"No, really, we're being serious!" Simon said at the sight of Lily's dissatisfied look. "Tell them we all said hi."

"_Bye_!"

Lily went on by herself down to the dungeons, where the Potions classroom and Professor Slughorn's office was located. Even before she had approached the corridor leading to the room did Lily hear music blasting and voices muttering. She cut across through Professor Slughorn's office, which was empty, and straight into the classroom. A long dining table had been set in the middle of the room, with the student chairs sitting in a row. The student tables had been pushed aside against the walls and the low, hackneyed lamp on the ceiling had been bewitched into a grand silver chandelier that spouted bright lights from every bulb.

Several student members of the Slug Club were sitting at the table, where food was laid carefully untouched. As Lily stepped into the room, many eyes landed on her and much of the chatter died down.

"Ms. Lily Evans!" boomed Professor Slughorn, who was—of course—sitting at the head. "Tut, tut. Lateness won't do, my good dear! But as you usually aren't tardy, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and believe that you were late for a good reason." Lily caught a few students from the corner of her eye sighing with exasperation at Professor Slughorn's special treatment, but she ignored them.

The last phrase had sounded like a question of some sort to Lily, so she replied, "Sorry, Professor, I was in my dormitory doing homework and lost track of the time."

"Aye, doing your homework, no doubt! You good little witch, you." Professor Slughorn sighed with awe. "Oh, Ms. Evans, what shall we do with you? We need to ban you from working for a day or two and see what you make of it!" He chuckled at his own unfunny wit. "Unfortunately, Ms. Pennington has taking my right side and Mr. Wood has taken my left; I guess you shan't have the privilege of sitting beside me this evening, eh?" Professor Slughorn folded his large arms.

"This seat will do, sir, thank you," Lily said with expertise, making her way to sit in one of the few empty chairs left towards the opposite end of the table. "And I'll be sure to not come late again."

"That will do, Ms. Evans," Professor Slughorn said fondly. "Now then," he proceeded to address the entire group, "I hope you all aren't too upset for having to miss the magnificent dinner in the Great Hall for just one day…though we are eating quite early and perhaps once we are finished there may be a leftover treacle tart somewhere here or there…nonetheless, I am quite certain that our dinners here are just as delicious! Indeed, I feel like we ought to thank our house elves in the kitchens for preparing such fine meals for us, but time is waning and the day is dimming. So what are we waiting for? _Tuck_ _in_!" The students didn't need reminding. They went ahead and 'tucked in,' and soon plates were full and so were mouths.

Lily had already downed a slice of the enormous chicken pot pie dish and was now scooping a large spoonful of garlic and white cheddar cheese mashed potatoes onto her plate. She looked down towards Professor Slughorn, who was asking Andromeda Pennington about her latest potion, which had apparently earned "extra marks" due to its "impeccable results." Having digested the first few bites of their dinner, many students began conversing with each other. Some chattered about the Hogsmeade trip from the previous day, while others talked about the latest news from _The Daily Prophet_, and still others exchanged worries about the pile of homework they had recently procrastinated and were now in danger of not completing it.

Lily delved into her mashed potatoes when a black-haired girl next to her said, "bit of a hog, are you?"

"_Excuse me?_" Lily nearly choked on her second helping of mash. "And may I ask who you are?" She unintentionally swallowed her mash, and it felt as though a big lump had formed at the base of her throat. Nevertheless, she kept her eyes on the rather creamy pale girl beside her. The girl had the nerve to grin at her!

"Bulstrode," the girl told Lily, holding out a hand. "_Cordelia_ Bulstrode."

"Well _Cordelia_," Lily said haughtily, trying to ignore the lump and shake the girl's hand aggressively, "watch who you call a hog next time and—!"

"Bollocks," the girl called Cordelia said, laughing. "You may be able to whip up a sturdy antidote, but you sure can't take a joke, _Lily Evans._"

At this point, Lily was confused and wasn't sure to take this witch's comments as insults or merely what she perceived to be as "a joke."

"Guess there's no need to introduce myself," she said to Cordelia coldly.

"Well, nice to meet you anyway. And it's Cordy," Cordelia corrected her. "Or Cordelia. It doesn't matter, really, but most of my friends call me Cordy."

"Um, okay," said Lily. Since the tension seemed to have lessened, she turned back to her food. "Well, Cordy, some people just like to appreciate their food more than others do." She emphasized her point quite impressively by stuffing some fries into her mouth. "Yum."

Cordelia laughed again and said, "I told you, I was just joking, though I must admit that I'm not too hungry. Had a few delicious crumpets earlier, the ones my boyfriend stole for me from the kitchens."

"Stole?" Lily looked up, utterly surprised. "How would your, um, boyfriend know where the kitchens are?"

Cordelia leaned over and winked at Lily. "It's a secret. He won't tell me either, and only he and his friends know where the way in is."

"Interesting," replied Lily, not abandoning the cool tone from her voice completely. Right before she took another mouthful, however, an arm nudged her.

"Look, I'm befriending you, in case you hadn't notice yet," Cordelia said, with her hand outstretched again. "It's Cordelia."

Lily looked at her incredulously, realizing that this witch was anticipating a welcome handshake no matter what. "Lily Evans," she said. "Um…is this your first time here or something?"

"Yeah, first time," Cordelia echoed. "Slughorn invited me into his, ah, _club _ only a few days ago right after Potions class. Apparently only students who outlive his expectations or have interesting connections get to join, or at least that's what everybody thinks. Frankly, I agree. He must've overheard me talking to Lucius about my granddad, who invented the Oakshaft 79."

"_You're related to Elias Grimstone?_" Lily dropped her fork and stared at Cordelia incredulously.

"Yep."

"Wow." Lily turned back to her plate, still stunned with awe. "I didn't think I'd ever meet someone related to someone else who was famous."

Cordelia chuckled before grabbing a dinner roll and whipping some fresh, yellow butter on it. "Well, there's a first for everything. I'm not exactly a total potions fanatic though, so part of me really doesn't know why I'm even in this club. I'm more of a, well, you can say a _Dark Artist_."

Lily looked at Cordelia, thoroughly interested now. "I don't think I've seen you around before. Are you a first year?"

"Second-year. You a fifth like Lucius?"

"Malfoy?" Lily looked surprised.

"Um yeah? Do you know him? I mentioned him a minute ago…"

Lily had to consciously stop herself from grinding her teeth. "Yes I know him."

"Are you two friends?"  
"I really wouldn't call us friends," Lily said, the look on her face very hard.

"Um, okay then." Cordelia's eyebrows were shot up but she said no more about Lucius. "So are you a fifth?" She chewed her bread.

"What? Oh yeah…"

"Awesome…you get to take the O.W.L.s and everything."

"Yeah…big whoop." Lily became disinterested again and returned to her food.

"Anyway, so the Slugster over there seems to favor you a lot…"

"Yeah, it can get kind of annoying sometimes though." She regretted it right after she said it. Lily quickly turned to Cordelia and added, "I'd rather you not tell anybody I said that."

"On my honor as a Slytherin." Cordelia grinned. "And I'll bet…I wouldn't want a professor tailing me like that, and I'd have to try and stay a model student all the time like you…"

"Er, well I wouldn't exactly call myself a model student. I'm really into Potions though, so I tend to do well in that subject." Lily just thought of something she should've noticed before. "Oh, wait, you're a Slytherin?"

"Yeah? Got a problem with that?" But Cordelia didn't look offended or miffed; rather, she looked curious and challenging. She didn't take her eyes off of Lily, however, as she reached to fill her bowl with steaming chicken noodle soup.

"No, no…I just—just didn't know." Lily shrugged, trying to look as if she didn't really care all that much.

"Mm…people always seem to misjudge us Slytherins. They think we're just a bunch of slithering sneaky snakes." Cordelia let out a hollow laugh before taking a hearty gulp of her soup. Nearly half of her bowl became empty.

"Oh, I didn't—!"

"I think you did," Cordelia said in a slightly cool voice after swallowing. "But no matter, it's nothing new."

Lily felt slightly ashamed of herself but then, after thinking over it, said, "Well, I suppose you're right, but stereotypes usually are backed up by some sort of factual truth." As she was saying this, desserts replaced the empty main course dishes and everyone scrambled with an "Oh!" to get the first helpings. Lily helped herself to some chocolate pudding.

"Still...it's not a great idea to approach situations based on stereotypes. You never know who will end up defying them."

Lily stopped eating for a moment to contemplate about this. However, her contemplations got nowhere, as only seconds later Professor Slughorn's massive silhouette appeared behind her.

"Making new friends, I see?" He said in his usual booming voice. Lily slightly jumped; she had almost forgotten the rest of the Slug Club was there. "Good, good, that's what I like to see in my club—a little bit of collaboration, a little tightening on the belts!" He winked at Lily, who tried to wink back but totally missed once he began patting her back forcefully. "Anyway, carry on now, Ms. Evans! Ms. Bulstrode!"

Cordelia rolled her eyes as Professor Slughorn walked away. "'_A little tightening of the belts_—' honestly!" Lily giggled. "It's just the way he is."

A short, slightly awkward silence followed in which both witches concentrated on eating. Lily wasn't sure how she was supposed to be feeling. It was nice to make a new friend, especially since she'd felt pretty lonely during the last few club meetings, but Cordelia wasn't the type of friend she had planned on making. The cynical and almost conceited air that Cordelia presented herself with was not a particularly flattering personality.

"So…" Cordelia continued as if there had been no pause, "who else do you hang out with here? In the club, I mean." She scooped a slice of apple pie onto her plate and added a generous dollop of butter pecan ice cream on top.

"Not many people, really," Lily confessed.

"Oh really? Hmm…You don't seem like you _wouldn't_ be popular," Cordelia replied. It took a few seconds for Lily to get what she said, but once she did she gasped out in triumph and said, "Fancy a stereotype, do you?"

Cordelia stopped chewing and for a split second Lily thought she was going to slap her. But instead Cordelia roared with laughter.

"You got me all right!" she cried with glee, pointing at Lily and then patting hard on the table. "Nice one."

Lily watched her in astonishment and could think of nothing to say except, "Er… thanks I guess."

At that moment, Professor Slughorn stood up and said loudly, "In just a few minutes, our meeting shall be adjourned. This was a pleasant meeting and I'm glad to see several new faces! It's been a pleasure getting to know all of you, and I shall inform you all of the next meeting. I'm thinking about having a little potion competition then, spice things up a bit, you know?"

The plates were whisked away within seconds and the table automatically cleaned itself, with stains disappearing and little bits of crumbs forming into nothing but particles of thin air. Professor Slughorn grunted with satisfaction and began shooing students away.

"So, who do _you_ usually hang out with?" Lily wondered aloud curiously as she and Cordelia made their way through the crowd of Slugs and out into the dungeon corridor.

"Oh, I've got this little group I hang out with," Cordelia answered. "They're pretty cool people, all Slytherins—but I guess that's not exactly a good thing, is it? At least not to you…" there was that slight smirk on her face; Lily was beginning to get used to it.

"No it's not," Lily said defensively. "My best friend is a Slytherin!"

"Really?" Cordelia doubled back in surprise.

"Yep, so you can't talk about _me_ anymore," Lily said rather childishly. "Who's in that little group of yours? Several second years, no doubt?"

"Well, quite the contrary. I'm much luckier than most other younger years…I hang out with the big bad wizards," Cordelia said almost pompously. "There's Lucius of course," she added automatically. "And, ah, these guys named Floyd Avery, Rhett Crabbe—he's a dumbass, I don't even know why he hangs out with us, Evan Rosier—oh, and Severus Snape, of course."

"_What?!_"


	14. The Dark Artists

And here we go…a little turn around the corner, revealing The Dark Artists and what they're really like in this story. All I'll say is...poor Lily!

**Chapter #15: Unfulfilled**

"She's in _that_ group? In Severus's group of friends?" Lily kept shaking her head over and over, feeling as though she had not heard correctly. She didn't know why she was so astonished; it seemed common sense now, as everything Cordelia had told her fit perfectly. Her arrogant personality, her close friendship with Lucius, her keen interest in the Dark Arts and the way she uttered the title _Dark Artist_ all matched together like a puzzle. _Of course_ she was in that group.

_Wow, I just befriended one of _Severus's_ friends,_ Lily thought to herself, making her way towards the library, where Severus and she had arranged to meet so that the latter could meet "the group" after dinner. She hadn't asked Cordelia where she was going after the Slug Club dinner meeting, but she was willing to bet on her Potions grade that she was also headed towards the library. Lily needed to think alone though. She was still very confused.

Did she or did she not enjoy Cordelia's company at dinnertime? In truth, Lily enjoyed having someone to talk to for once, and Cordelia's somewhat irksome and rebellious nature was something new and almost refreshing to be around. This shocked her, as she was known for and used to be around the wizards and witches who were all about studying and experimenting with advanced charms, spells, and potions. Yes, people like Gwen, Gizelle, and Simon. Indeed, Lily _had_ enjoyed conversing with Cordelia and making acquaintance with her, though she wasn't sure what it would really be like to be, well, her friend.

_I guess I'll just find out right now_, she thought to herself, sighing as she approached the entrance to the library.

Sure enough, a small group of students were sitting together at one of the study tables, a couple of them wearing Slytherin attire—one wearing an emerald green hat and another wearing a scarf.

Lily could hear bits of conversation floating in the air from where they were at. She slowed her pace and walked quieter, curious to know what they were saying.

"—she's late, whoever _she_ is. Are you sure she heard you correctly, Severus?" demanded blond-haired Lucius, who was sitting in one of the taller chairs. It wasn't just the chair though; Lucius _looked_ like he was the leader of the bunch, what with his high posture and lofty expressions.

Severus was sitting in the chair closest to the entrance of the library. "Yeah, Lucius, I did," he said rather boldly. "She had to go to a Slug Club meeting, and Professor Slughorn is usually always picky with those…"

"_She's in Slughorn's club?_" Lucius cried in surprise and disgust. "God, those people in there are so full of—"

" _A-hem_." Cordelia's figure, short but hard to miss, rose slightly in her chair at the implied accusation. "Be careful as to who you insult, Lucius!" she hissed.

Lily actually gasped, for as far as she knew very few had the guts to speak to Lucius like that. And those that did were often looking for trouble. She vaguely thought of the whole Hogsmeade incident and instinctively started to turn around and flee.

But before she was able to take more than a few steps, she heard Lucius chuckling. His cool laughter made her hair stick at the back of her neck. "Cordy, Cordy," he said. "I was merely going to say that all those people in there are so full of _amazing talents_ and _admirable mannerisms._ Wouldn't you all agree?" he added, addressing the other Slytherins, who laughed and consented.

"Sure you were, Lucius," Cordelia said, and Lily noted a hint of amusement in her tone. Apparently Lucius didn't intimidate his own friends.

At that moment, Severus looked up and said, "Lily!" Lily closed her eyes tightly and thought, _oh shit!_ "There you are!"

She turned around and was sure that her face was redder than her hair.

"Lily!" Severus called again, and hurried towards her. "Gosh, I was afraid you'd chickened out." _I almost did, but you caught me,_ Lily thought irritably.

"Hi," she said meekly. Severus eagerly turned her to his friends and said, "Guys, I know I didn't tell you exactly who you were going to meet, but—"

"You brought _her_?" Lucius said. The words hit Lily's ears like sharp knives, but then she realized his face wasn't as unpleasant as she'd anticipated. It was merely full of surprise, but only for a moment. "Hmm…I guess I should've known."

"You didn't tell them it was me who was going to meet them?" Lily whispered to Severus indignantly. So they were still secret friends, huh?

"It's not like that," he said softly back to her. "I was just…just afraid that if they knew it was actually you they'd back out and wouldn't give you a chance, you know?" he shrugged. "Sorry if that hurts your feelings."

She didn't say anything; her feet seemed to have become glued to the carpet. She wasn't able to move forward, and yet she couldn't seem to run away either. Here she was in front of Severus's friends, with Severus looking between her and them as if he was hoping that she would meet them and greet them like they were old friends. She wanted to glare at him for putting her in this position.

To be honest, they all looked like a bunch of hyenas ready to feed on their prey. The analogy, vaguely zooming within her thoughts, made her want to shiver.

"So…" said Lucius. "Welcome to our group, Evans." Lily gave them a curt nod. "Let me and your—ah—good friend Severus introduce you to the rest of the group, or rather _the Dark Artists,_ as Cordelia likes to call us." He chuckled, and it was obvious he was fond of the title. Lily's eyes glazed over until they hit Cordelia, whose mouth was hanging open in complete astonishment. She shook her head and closed her mouth as though just realizing it had been open. She caught Lily's eye but immediately avoided it thereafter, looking at Lucius with a cool, complacent look as though nothing was unusual about this situation.

"Meet Floyd Avery," Lucius continued, laying a hand on the dark-skinned, built fellow who sat beside him and looked big enough to knock two trolls together with his hands. Lily could tell by the way Lucius presented him that Floyd was one of his closer mates.

"And this is Rhett Crabbe and Daniel Wilkes," Severus added, pointing to a chubby fifth-year who Lily often saw in her classes and another rather skinny boy who she had never seen in her life. "And Cordelia Bulstrode."

"We've met," Lily said before she could stop herself.

"What was that?" Lucius bent over slightly towards her.

"We've met," Cordelia repeated, watching Lily. "Apparently Evans and I are both on the Slug's radar now; we were both at the club dinner just not too long ago."

This surprised a couple of the group members, who brought their heads together and whispered. Lucius ignored them. "Ah. I see…" he said, still watching Lily intently. It made her feel like she was being closely X-rayed. She felt like shivering again. "Well then, welcome. Have a seat."

Lily's heart skipped a few beats when Lucius said this; _no way in hell am I going to—_she began to think, but then she caught sight of Severus's encouraging face and felt him nudge her from the back. He graciously pulled up a chair for her and slowly lowered himself into his chair only when she did.

As Lily sat down, a low hiss escaped from Daniel Wilkes. She looked at him, startled, and several others turned their heads as well. Lucius reached over with his hand as though preventing Wilkes from standing up and said, "Now, now, Daniel, let us take this opportunity to get to know Severus's little red friend." However inconspicuously and casual it sounded, everybody could hear the sneers he used when he said the least three words. There was a slight uproar within the group and the amplitude of their voices heightened dramatically. Lily's face burned.

"Hey! You guys, I really want this to end well, okay?" Severus told everyone, throwing his hands out cautiously before turning to Lucius. "Lucius," he added, "you're one of the greatest guys I know, and definitely my best mate, but I really wanted you all to get to know each other. Lily's really not as bad she may seem to you, and—" at this, he glanced at Lily with a knowing look, "our group is filled with a bunch of talented, creative, and funny wizards and witch." He looked at all of them again and finished by saying, "I know you both really well, and I _know_ you guys can be friends if you're willing."

Lily was burning inside. So it was Lucius who was his best mate, eh? Severus was not looking her way at the moment, and she wished very much that he was just so she could glare at him.

Lucius looked around at each of his friends' faces and they all nodded at him with a certain look and smile; it was as though they all knew what the other was thinking and trying to say. God knew Lily hadn't an inkling of what was being communicated between them.

"Sure thing, Severus," Lucius said pleasantly.


	15. Unfulfilled

Yes, yes, I've been MIA for another year. T_T Senior year was quite rough, but by fall I will be in college! I can't guarantee I'll have more time to write, but I'll do my best to update as much as I can. Every time I get back to this FF, I fall back in love with all the characters and cannot wait to pick it back up again.

This is a pretty sad chapter on the whole. I don't want to give too much away before you read, but what happens here serves as a pretty big catalyst for the changes in the relationships between Lily & Co. and The Marauders that are soon to come.

**Chapter #15: Unfulfilled**

"So, Evans…"

Lily couldn't seem to stop shivering every time she heard Lucius's ice-cold voice. She couldn't stand to look at his sneering face, so instead she looked down at his fingers, which lightly and leisurely drummed, one at a time, on the arm of his chair. They were pale, and Lily was sure that if they were touched, they would feel just as cold as his words.

"If we're supposed to become friends today, I highly suggest you start coming 'round by using my first name," Lily said boldly. Her voice was far from being as loud and intimidating as Lucius's did, but she figured since she was alone with a bunch of Slytherins, she might as well show that she wasn't fearful…or, rather, hide the fear within her.

"Of course…_Lily_," Lucius sneered. "But it wouldn't be fair if that privilege didn't go both ways."

Lily nodded. A silence followed, and she suddenly wondered exactly what she was doing here. What on heaven, earth, and hell were they supposed to talk about? She was into _nothing_ they were interested in, and vice versa. Even though she was doing this for Severus, Lily couldn't think of any way in which this meeting would end up successful. She was just too different from them, and the hate that lingered between her and the rest of the Slytherins was so strong in the room that she could almost taste it.

Lucius smiled. "So tell us, Cordy love, what was today's Sluggish meeting about? It must've been an honor to have been welcomed into the open arms of Slughorn and his club, and all the more of an honor to have met Lily, here," –he nodded once at Lily— "before the rest of us did."

Cordelia snorted. "Hardly. About the first part, I mean. All we did was stuff ourselves full of food…not that the grub was bad or anything, but we didn't _do _anything else. It was quite a disappointment, though nothing more or less than what I've heard. I talked to Lily most of the time, but I could also hear Slughorn trying to get close to a few of the students whose parents had had him for a teacher. Then afterwards he just dismissed us. An honor indeed!" The sarcasm dripped from those last three words, like the drool that fell from Crabbe's mouth when he saw a piece of cake in front of him, thought Lily.

"Interesting," Floyd Avery said. "What did you think of it, Ev—Lily?"

Lily was astonished to have been addressed a question. All eyes turned towards her, and Severus's were so big with enthusiasm and encouragement that she thought they would pop out at any moment.

"It…it was okay. More or less like all the others," Lily confessed. "But Slughorn said he might have a potions competition next time, so it should get more interesting. Besides, this is just our fourth meeting. He likes getting to know everybody first and letting all the students get warmed up to each other—a little one-one-one, if you will—before having anything else take place besides a dinner."

She had never spoken so much to any of these people before, apart from Severus, and quickly turned to Lucius to see his reaction.

"A potions contest, eh? A little one-on-one with the others? Sounds like you know a lot about Slughorn and his ways," Lucius said. This was unexpected, and Lily couldn't help but feel a bit elated by those words. They were yet another reminder that she was one of Slughorn's favorites…which wasn't always a good thing to put up with, but made her feel as though her potions skills were really worth something.

"Well, I wouldn't put it _that_ way. I mean, I've been his student for quite some years now, and I guess I've just gotten used to how he is," said Lily, becoming a bit more like her usual chatty self. "I'm glad he likes me as much as he does, it's not always easy to get a Hogwarts professor to accept your work like he does mine." At that, most of the others stiffened and had miffed looks plastered on all of their faces, but Lucius Malfoy had a wide grin on his face.

"Do you, now?" he said in what seemed like a pleased and amused tone.

"Well…" Lily felt very uncomfortable, especially when she glanced over at Cordelia and saw that she looked quite annoyed indeed. "Well, he's the only one who likes me that much, really. To the others, I'm not as much of a genius as Slughorn makes me out to be."

"So you admit that you're a genius?" Cordelia said, looking incredulous. "Sheesh, what a way to put yourself out there."

"No, no, there are definitely wizards and witches out there much smarter than I am," Lily stammered, trying to correct whatever fault she had made. "I just meant that I'm grateful for Slughorn's friendship and…and belief in me as a reliable potions student, I guess."

"You are definitely one of the best students," Severus added right then. "Probably even in Lucius's league. She can whip up a potion in her sleep if she wanted to! Besides, Potions is definitely one of our key elements in studying the Dark Arts, which covers almost every subject except in a much deeper scope, if you ask me." He had a victorious look on his face, as though he'd saved the entire meeting.

Lily could feel a fire flaring up inside her again. _Probably even in Lucius's league._ So, what, did Severus think Lucius was smarter than her? Did he think Lucius was better than her all-around? A better potions brewer, a better student, a better _friend_?

"Well, I can't imagine _that_," Lucius replied, the cold and icy tone back in its place. "Not many are in my league, if at all. Yet, Slughorn still doesn't seem to believe that I am worthy enough for his…little…_Slug Club_. Ha! If anything, his club isn't fitfor _me_."

Lily could've gagged right then. How could Severus be friends with such a sore loser and arrogant twerp?

"So, what potions do you whip up, then, eh? Got one that makes a frog try to kill itself?" Crabbe guffawed. "That would be hilarious to see."

Lily shuddered. "I…I don't know if such a potion exists. I hope not…that would be awful."

Cordelia shook her head, almost as if in disbelief and disapproval. "Not really…quite the contrary, it would be fascinating. That certainly would be a Dark potion indeed. Imagine what a potion like that could do for the Wizarding World!"

Lily blanched. Severus put a hand on her shoulder; whether it was a warning sign or a protective gesture, she didn't know, but she shook it off immediately. "What do you mean? No doubt, it would do nothing but create chaos! People would always try to slip the…the potion to other people. Just imagine if _that_ were slipped into your pumpkin juice." Again, she shuddered at the thought, and glared at Severus as if blaming him for bringing up the topic.

"But it would be so much easier for the Ministry of Magic…one potion that they could simply give to a criminal, who would automatically commit suicide under the influence of the Cruciatus Curse. What an effective way to bring justice," replied Cordelia, who seemed thoroughly delighted by the idea.

"_Justice_? Nothing good ever comes out of killing others!" Lily's voice began to rise out of frustration.

"The Ministry wouldn't literally be doing the killing. The criminal would be doing to himself what he'd most likely done to others."

"Yes, but if the Ministry is the one to give the potion to the criminal, especially with that very intention of him drinking it, then it IS murdering no matter what way you put it!" Lily choked out. "I don't want to think about it anymore." She closed her eyes once to let the image fade from her mind. "It makes me feel sick just thinking about it."

"No offense, but you don't seem to have a very strong stomach," Crabbe observed. "And pardon me, but how in the hell can you be a part of us if you can't handle Dark thoughts?"

"If that's the kind of stuff you all think about in your time together, then maybe I don't want to be a part of the Dark Artists!" Lily cried, recollecting herself and feeling quite angry now. Who was he to talk to her in that way?

"There, she's said it!" Daniel said, standing up and pointing at her triumphantly. "She doesn't even _want_ to be a part of us, so this whole thing is a waste of our damn time. Why even bother with her, Severus?"

At this point, the librarian, Madame Pince, had come to see what all the commotion was about. There was a frown on her face as she directed her words mainly to Daniel, "I don't need any trouble here from you students! This is a place for studying, not arguing and _definitely _not swearing!" There was a disapproved look on her face, but next to Daniel and the others, Madame Pince looked quite miniscule.

The rage within Lily was really too much to bear at this point. Her eyebrows furrowed together in anger and, before she knew it, she was on her feet as well.

"You know nothing about me!" She pointed back at Daniel, glaring fiercely. "So don't even try to pretend you do!"

"Based on what you've told us, _Lily_," put in Floyd, and she turned to look at his judgmental, frowning face, "you're no better than what we expected. You've just proven that you're a sneaky know-it-all who thinks you're better than others just because you can whip up a draught. But inside, you're nothing but a weak Mudblood."

There was uproar when he spat out _Mudblood_ as the other Dark Artists cried out in agreement, and Madame Pince wagged a finger in outrage at Daniel's face while scolding him fiercely, and Severus finally said, "Shut your mouth up, don't you go calling Lily names like that, Floyd Avery!"

By now, Lily was close to tears. She had come to make peace with Severus's gang and show that she wasn't as distasteful as they thought, because, before today, they'd always assumed who she was and made stereotypical and condescending remarks. There had been a slight hope inside of her after she'd met Cordelia, but now there was none. The Dark Artists had manipulated this entire conversation to show everybody—including Severus—that she was exactly what they always taunted her to be. What Floyd had said: _sneaky, know-it-all, weak._

She rushed over to Severus with pools forming at her eyelids. She brushed them away quickly, not wanting to embarrass herself anymore. "This whole thing was a big mistake, Sev. I'm sorry." With that, Lily Evans pushed past her stunned friend and, after one more glance backwards, hurried out of the library. She could still hear the rest of the gang arguing with Severus as Madame Pince tried to quiet them down and threaten them with detentions, but her ears wouldn't register anything that was being said. Within seconds, Lily was on her way back to the Gryffindor dormitory.

Several voices were shooting angry comments at Severus all at once, and he couldn't concentrate. He was looking back and forth between all of the Dark Artists and Lily. It felt like Severus's soul was being split apart into two, and he couldn't decide which half to keep. Severus saw Lily turn back to look at him one more time, and a voice in his mind roared, _GO!_, but his feet stayed stuck to the ground like cement. He seemed to be paralyzed. Then, she disappeared.

The voice inside of him cried, _No, come back!_ but he uttered not a single word out loud. Somewhere inside, Severus realized that it was too late to go after her. He hadn't known which part of his soul was to be kept, yet he _should've_ known which was more important right off the bat. And now his chance was over.

He had let Lily go, his one love and best friend ever since the beginning.


End file.
